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Red light districts: The Arizona Legislature is weighing a bill that would lessen the scope of the ever-popular red light cameras, which photograph and fine people who run red lights. The bill, which was authored by Arizona Sen. Frank Antenori, would expand the legal definition of an intersection to help drivers avoid citation for running red lights.
It’s no wonder that Antenori is championing the rights of drivers, particularly after his own were violated when he was issued a photo radar speeding ticket in 2009, a ticket he paid on Monday. This is presented without comment.

Dis-parody: The Arizona Board of Regents is looking to level the playing field among the state’s three universities, at least in per-student funding. The UA currently receives about $760 more in per-student funding than Northern Arizona University, and about $900 more than Arizona State University.

Part of the reason the regents and the Legislature are looking to give more money to ASU and NAU is to support continued enrollment growth at the two universities — enrollment growth that will require more funding to maintain per-student equivalency — that would then require more money to fund enrollment expansion. Huh. It may just be the UA education talking, but does anyone else see a problem with this picture?

Educated defense: A national task force issued a report that warned of the security dangers of America’s increasingly undereducated populace. Namely, the report cited shortfalls in foreign language proficiency, math and science as the biggest areas of need. Apparently, this taskforce hasn’t heard that there’s no longer any need for education, because there’s an app for that. “Siri, secure our nation for me.”

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Trading up: The U.S. Senate approved a bill that would bar members of Congress from insider trading using information they gather during the course of their work for the government. Makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is that three senators voted against the bill and one abstained from the vote. All four of them were Republicans. Well, with that out of the way, legislators can turn their attentions to more pressing matters, such as calling their brokers.

Rights, but not fights thereof: The Justice Department has approved a new set of guidelines that allows U.S. intelligence agencies to retain information on citizens for a longer period of time, even if the citizen has no known links to terrorist organizations. Though the guidelines were approved on Thursday, they have been actively in place for more than a year, according to The Washington Post.

Supporters of the measures say they are vital in preventing another terrorist attack on U.S. soil, while opponents argue that this constitutes an invasion of the privacy of private citizens. Mark Zuckerberg is smiling somewhere. Maybe if the Justice Department introduced photo sharing, people wouldn’t get so upset about their data being illicitly archived.

I see uterus: In an email to an opponent of Arizona’s House Bill 2036, which would ban all abortions after 20 weeks, Rep. Terri Proud said she thinks there should be a law that requires that all women who want to get an abortion have to watch the procedure being performed on someone first.

This is a magnificent idea. It continues the nation’s War on Women by providing the legislative equivalent of your parents taking you to a local farm to learn about the facts of life, and it takes slut shaming to a whole new level by implying that your abortion may be watched by other sinning hussies like yourself.

Why stop there? Let’s broadcast every abortion that’s performed in the country. Uterus-Tube, coming this fall.