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The Daily Wildcat

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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat


    Cat Mix

    30459, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – Saturday April 25 2009. ***EXCLUSIVE*** Clay Aiken emerges from the “Byron & Tracey” hair salon in Beverly Hills with a new hairdo. Photograph:

    ‘Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others’

    The Smiths

    It’s true; some girls are bigger than others. Depending on what you happen to be into, this will be a deciding factor on which of your female friends’ pages you lurk for summer vacation photos and relationship status updates. Remember: always clear your temporary Internet cache.

    — Remy Albillar


    ‘Every Breath You Take’

    The Police

    No list of songs to stalk to would be complete without the quintessential creepy-guy-looking-in-your-window anthem, better known by its famously eerie line, “”I’ll be watchin’ you.”” Don’t let Sting’s gentle voice on this one lull you into complacency; its narrator’s sinister promise to watch “”every move you make, every breath you take”” should make you worry about this guy’s sanity, and about the trustiness of your security system, online or otherwise.

    — Heather Price-Wright




    Clay Aiken

    You’re a fly on his wall — his Facebook wall anyway. Just as this song suggests, nothing says stalker better than the lyric, “”If I was invisible / Then I could just watch you in your room.”” And luckily, thanks to the Internet, it’s easy to creep completely undetected just like Clay Aiken always dreamed. Enjoy this pop hit as you click through those photos, and pretend he’s “”yours tonight.””

    — Miranda Butler




    Add some guilt to your self-pity with Thom Yorke’s signature moan. That’s right, weirdo. You know its wrong to check those pics. You don’t belong here; you only have 3 mutual friends. Keep clicking, creep. You wish you were special? Start by changing your political status to something other than “”moderate liberal.””

    — Brandon Specktor


    ‘Niki FM’

    Hawthorne Heights

    Someone, possibly right now, could be outside of your window (with his or her radio). If you live in the Stadium, this may be a more regular occurrence; this should be no cause for alarm. If not, you might want to hide your kids and your wife. That guy you met at the party last week was really upset when you denied his friend request.

    — Remy Albillar

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