The first two weeks of school are over, and you’re going to be studying soon. Whether it’s in the library or in one of the numerous coffee shops around campus, at one point you’re going to have to rely on java to get you through all-nighters. You’re gonna need some 155-degree no-whip-extra-dry double shot goodness — and you’re probably gonna piss off your barista. As someone who’s been that barista, here’s the surefire ways you can anger me — and how to avoid doing just that.
Get off your phone.
No, really, get off your phone. This is my number one gripe with any customer I have. If our eyes aren’t locked like you’re in a staring contest with your cat, it’s really hard to get your attention as it is. Put the phone down, put your call on hold, do whatever it is you have to do to get your order right and exchange money for coffee. It’s that simple.
Don’t give me a “bro nod.”
The majority of our customers are college students, and truthfully, a lot of us college students can be total inadvertent douche bags. We’re still peers however, and a bit of common courtesy goes a long way with us. I’m not asking you to give me your life story when you’re in line, but a simple verbal greeting is greatly appreciated and separates you from the douche-pack that we have to deal with on a daily basis. It’s the little things.
Throwing money is rude.
This is especially true for those of you that frequent the same shop for most of your coffee needs. There are fewer things that are sure to light me up than some snapback-wearing tool tossing his bills and change at me like I’m a cheap stripper. Listen, asshole, my hand is outstretched and is in the shape of a cup. Put your money or debit card in that cup. Also in this category: bills that are crumpled into oblivion can be easily unfolded while you’re waiting in line. It’s easy to do. If you hand me a twenty that’s in the shape of an origami swan, however, I may just love you forever.
Don’t order like it’s Starbucks when it’s not.
It’s not likely that most shops you go to will have the equivalent of the heart attack-inducing “trenta,” nor will we have the perfect equivalent of a grande or torta or whatever they call their sizes. If you’re a Starbucks regular, then it’s cool, man, you’re just out of place. But don’t get snippy with me when my 16-ounce latte doesn’t look as big as the grande you ordered — trust me, it’s the same size.
Tip us. We’re poor.
Dude, I know. You’re a college student, but you’re also paying five bucks for a cappuccino. Just toss your extra change in the tip jar and you’ll make our day. Regulars who do this kind of thing end up being the best and most frequent customers I have, and I always try to reward them here and there with the little things that I can give out. Coffee karma is a real thing and goes a long way — remember that next time you’re face to face with your barista.
Follow us on Twitter @wildcatarts and follow K.C. @KristianCLibman.
