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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat

 

    Brother Jed and Brother Al

    It’s springtime in Tucson, which means two things: women start wearing their bikinis and Brother Jed comes to the UA Mall to rail against them. When this God-fearing fellow arrives preaching the “”truth,”” students laugh and jeer at the inanity of his assertions, which he terms “”evidence.”” Yet when a blowhard shows up decrying man’s sins and their apocalyptic impact wearing a lab coat, students shut up, submissively accepting his words as gospel.

    Scientists behind the study of global warming proclaim their truth as “”undeniable,”” which is odd in a field of science – usually, hypotheses are accepted until contrary evidence is presented, such as the study in Physics Today that found up to 69 percent of the earth’s increased temperature was a direct result of solar activity. Yet under the ruling theocratic regime, led by head priest Al Gore, contrary results are little more than propaganda from “”Big Oil”” – the words of the devil sowing discontent amongst us. The philosopher Paul Feyerabend posited that scientists were little different than priests in the defense of their mythology, but he probably never thought it would get this bad.

    In the early stages of a faith, adherents are often obsessed with apocalypse. After all, the end of the world provides the Michael Bay special effects for religion, the thing that keeps your eyes glued to the faith. The faith of global warming (Envirovangelism?) is no different. Take, for example, the gratuitous scenes of natural disaster and glacial destruction in “”An Inconvenient Truth,”” a cult classic.

    The recent emotional meme of polar bears, starved and stranded, serves to demonstrate the sheer power of this punishing Warming God. Or take the sign of the apocalypse a la mode, Hurricane Katrina. Just as John Hagee, Sen. John McCain’s favorite evangelist, pointed to Hurricane Katrina as evidence of God’s punishment of sinful lifestyles, the envirovangelists point to Hurricane Katrina as a harbinger of the gÇôtterdÇÏmmerung that is nigh if we don’t renounce our carbon-filled lifestyles and return to pastoral austerity.

    Indeed, the idea

    Just as John Hagee, Sen. John McCain’s favorite evangelist, pointed to Hurricane Katrina as evidence of God’s punishment of sinful lifestyles, the envirovangelists point to Hurricane Katrina as a harbinger of the gotterdamerung that is nigh if we don’t renounce our carbon-filled lifestyles and return to pastoral austerity.

    of austerity is just as important in the sect as it was in the Calvinist sects of Puritanism that immigrated to this country to practice their repression in peace. In a piece for The New York Times in February of 2006, Andrew Revkin criticizes the endless pursuit of unnecessary things, which by his judgement seems to be just about everything. How long until we have our environmentalist witch trials, where neighbors monitor each others’ activities to make sure that we do not stray from the straight and narrow path (see California’s proposed thermostat policy)?

    We mock the Amish for their lack of electricity, but according to the greenies, this is the way of the future. Someday, we will fulfill the dream Mike Huckabee had when he proclaimed that, “”we ought to declare that we will be free of energy consumption in this country within a decade, bold as that is.”” Lower-income Americans have just now been able to readily purchase washing and drying machines. Millions of impoverished the third-world countries are gaining access to electricity, laptops and other basics the West. This will not do – under the green theocracy you give up personal survival for the good of the earth. Back to the washing board with you, scurrilous wench! No lightbulbs for you!

    This religion has its extremists as well. Take the Environment Liberation Front, a terrorist group that has taking to bombing buildings across the country to punish the sinners … ahem, consumers. Previously, the group’s efforts were focused simply at urban sprawl – the unbelievers, if you will. Recently, though, the group attacked three homes that were designed using green initiatives. The ELF does not think this is enough. These are the environmental mujahideen, waging war against the environmental infidel.

    Yet the majority of the faith is content with more tempered repression: In Saudi Arabia, women are not allowed to drive. The
    Taliban banned the use of fireworks, while the U.S. Congress banned incandescent light bulbs.

    This is not to say that there aren’t serious, thoughtful and rational scientists who are genuinely concerned about climate, and that there aren’t possibly policy initiatives that can accurately price the pollution that is currently treated as a mere externality. All of the preceding points are admitted exaggerations, but exaggerations with a point. Effective science does not preach, and good policy isn’t rooted in mandating personal morality (Eliot Spitzer, that means you!). Those concerned about global warming should re-engage with concerned citizens, rather than furthering the process they decry with the hot air of their bombast.

    Evan Lisull is a sophmore majoring in politcial science and economics. He can be reached at letters@wildcat.arizona.edu.

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