When you ask me what my plans are for after graduation, I often wonder if I should be honest or give you the answer you would like to hear. Usually I give the answer I think you are looking for, because I know you probably can’t handle the truth. You see, the truth is, the biggest decision I have made for after graduation is being hammered drunk for a good week or two. Beyond that, my life is an open book.
Before you tell me how irresponsible I am, hear me out. There is still a semester and a half until graduation, which means I have the next seven months to figure my shit out. In these past four years of college I have mastered the art of procrastination, and I think it is only fitting to let this be my first application of it in the real world.
Still not interested in getting off my back? Let me turn the tables on you. When did you know exactly what you wanted to do with your life? After college, did you become an overnight success? I am assuming the answer is no, and that regardless of your age, you still don’t know what you want to do “”when you grow up.”” So how can you expect me, at the ripe age of 21, to have it all figured out?
It seems like you have always been incredibly concerned about my life. Since I graduated high school, you always feel the need to ask what I am going to college for. Well, if you want the simple answer: I am going to school to receive a bachelor’s degree. If you don’t know that is the reason people go to college, then my boy Antoine Dodson has a few words for you: “”You are so dumb. You are really dumb.”” Honestly, what kind of question is that?
Based on your inquiry, though, I am considering hosting my own reality show post-undergrad. I figure people like you, who are so concerned with the path I am taking, will tune in every week.
If Bravo doesn’t pick up the show, though, my future is looking more overcast than bright. I have no clue what I am going to do, nor do I care at this point. I wish that being a Toys “”R”” Us kid were still as viable an option as it was 15 years ago, because I do not want to grow up.
Can’t you see by constantly asking me what I am going to do once I graduate, you’re causing me more stress than my academic advisor? Save the nagging for someone who gets paid for it. Even she can see that my main focus right now should not be on the future but on the time I have left in school.
I would be hard-pressed to name five friends’ post-UA plans. Do you know why? It’s not because I do not care about their future; I just care more about their sanity and well-being.
This is a depressing time in a college student’s life. Within the year, we are expected to say goodbye to our glory days and face the real world, which we know is a harsh world. So please just let me hold onto these days, worry free.
The only time your hounding questions will be welcomed around here is if you are asking because you want to offer me a job.
— Mallory Hawkins is a communication senior. She can be reached at letters@wildcat.arizona.edu.
