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The Daily Wildcat

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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat

 

    How to spot a douchebag

    Douchebags are out there, ladies, and they can all too often be difficult to spot.

    They are especially adept at infiltrating after-hours establishments to find women to slobber on, and they often travel in numbers, for security.

    The Summer Wildcat staff has assembled a checklist to help women spot these loathsome creatures and avoid any contact with any of their shenanigans. Suspected douchebags may be considered confirmed if they exhibit three or more of the follow indicators:

    -They wear a different Ed Hardy t-shirt every day.

    -They wear the same Ed Hardy t-shirt every day.

    -They wear hats with the price tags still attached.

    -They wear more jewelry than you do, on more body parts.

    -They refer to themselves in the third person.

    -They wear 24-karat gold dog tags, imported from Italy.

    -They habitually refer to acquaintances as “”Bro,”” “”Broski,”” “”Broseph,”” or “”Brody Jenner.””

    -They can wear skinny jeans because their knots do fit.

    -They are always the worst flipcup players at the party.

    -They pop their collars when they hear a Three Six Mafia song.

    -They have gelmets (helmets made out of hair gel).

    -They wear sunglasses at night, indoors.

    -They cried both times they saw “”Twilight.””

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