Penn not mightier than the sword

The Story: Sean Penn’s crazy rants over national public policy reached a new low on Saturday, and not only for his “”soiled and bloodstained underwear”” comment. Penn lauds Iran’s “”greatness”” and the “”great”” opportunities for diplomacy between their country and ours.

The Diss: Perhaps Penn has been so busy making blockbuster movies (oh wait, it’s been a while since he’s had one of those) that he didn’t notice how well recent “”diplomacy”” has worked with Iran. The U.N. Security Council, including pals Russia and China, sanctioned Iran for continuing to pursue nuclear technology – so Iran kidnapped 15 British troops in childish retaliation. In his rant Penn says, “”Does it [Iran] want a nuclear weapon? Maybe.”” Instead of extolling the alleged virtues of Iran like a “”smarmy pundit,”” Penn should pull his head out of the sand and take a whiff of the soiled and bloodstained underwear that he chooses to nestle himself in.

– Kara Karlson is a journalism senior.

This just in: Photons come from fairy dust

The Story: Creationist Cheri Yecke, Florida’s chancellor of K-12 education, has announced her intention to become the state’s education commissioner. She is well-known for attempting to sneak intelligent design into Minnesota science curricula using underhanded tactics.

The Diss: Suddenly, it’s more difficult to make “”X state is stupid”” jokes. I always thought Kansas was the educational armpit of the U.S., but Florida may well usurp that title. An education commissioner in America who doesn’t understand basic principles of science is about as useful as one who doesn’t speak English. For consistency’s sake, she should expand her agenda to include alternate viewpoints in other theories of science, such as the view that electric current is caused by fairies, not moving electrons (it’s just as sensible as intelligent design theory). Maybe she should have Florida math teachers tell students, “”Now, some people believe two plus two is not four, but five …””

– Taylor Kessinger is a sophomore majoring in physics, math and philosophy.

Thirty pieces of silver

The Story: Dan Patrick, a Republican Texas state senator, introduced a bill that would offer pregnant women $500 if they opted to put their unwanted baby up for adoption instead of terminating the pregnancy.

The Diss: Just as pro-choice activists are wrong to dismiss the moral concerns associated with abortions, pro-life politicians cede credibility when they cheapen a women’s tragic choice to end her pregnancy. Patrick’s proposal is as offensive as it is barbaric, and the suggestion that human life is something to be bought and sold contradicts the very foundation of pro-life doctrine – that life trumps expedience. It would seem some soul-searching is in order for Patrick, and if this is the best the pro-life movement has to offer, the “”culture of life”” may very well be dead.

– Damion LeeNatali is a senior majoring in political science and history.