When people think of Russia they think: cold, vodka and communism. Which I guess is fair considering it’s covered in snow, Russians love vodka, and they are still feeling the repercussions of their near-century long foray into socialism, communism, totalitarianism and whatever else the Soviet Union was.
Tomorrow, however, I am leaving for the great motherland – St. Petersburg to be exact – for an entire semester, with one thing in mind: To find out what the hell is going on over there.
Most people think I am insane to have chosen such a desolate place for a semester study abroad, but I tell them: Where the vodka is as cheap as water (cheaper in some cities), the nightlife surpasses even Las Vegas and some women have been known to accost foreign men in hopes of marriage, there must be more than what meets the American eye.
Although I am leaving an unusually hot Tucson for St. Petersburg (to all the sad people who don’t know what that is: It’s the second largest city in Russia, the one-time capital and home to many of the world’s most ornate palaces), I won’t be completely out of touch. Every Tuesday from now until I’m found murdered in an alleyway – or I’m lucky enough to make it to the end of the semester – I will write home to the UA, detailing exactly how unprepared I am, how little Russian I speak and how many cops I was forced to bribe.
Yes, it’s true the crime in Russia is worse than what you might find in New York (except maybe Staten Island or New Jersey), there has been an apparent rise in the number of neo-Nazi thugs and the police are notoriously difficult to foreigners (More difficult than the LAPD? That remains to be seen.) But I suppose I will do what all Russians do: drink vodka and keep my head down – way down.
Think of me as your foreign correspondent, the one student who can rep UA to millions of drunk, cold Russians, and I will try and survive long enough to publish a story each Tuesday. So for kids with their worst classes on Tuesdays, at least you’ll have some entertainment in that lame gen ed, or for those who think they will have a bad semester, just be thankful you’ll be able to spend more than 15 minutes outside without being obliterated.
Until next week, feel safe knowing that one UA student is on the other side of the world, doing whatever he can to get by.
