“”Secret Agent Man”” or “”Gangsters Away””

Honestly, anything put on by the Gaslight Theatre turns out to be a secret pleasure, like “”Buffy the Vampire Slayer”” or “”Baywatch”” reruns; you know you shouldn’t be spending your time watching it, but you have to do it anyway. In this comedy, Jake Strong, a secret agent, must stop Victor Vector and the international terrorist organization, Criminals Resolute In Making Evil (C.R.I.M.E.). Before you check out the play, head next door to Little Anthony’s to add to your night of cheesy goodness or even order food to eat during the show. Wednesday. 7 p.m. $16.95; discounts available. Gaslight Theatre, 7010 E. Broadway Blvd.

Gluten-Free Lunch Bunch

You gotta admit, Firecracker Bistro deserves some props here for raising awareness about celiac disease, a debilitating disease that affects many Americans. My friend was diagnosed with the disease a few years ago, and all she’s eaten lately is lettuce and wheat-free pizzas. The latter are probably the most disgusting things on the planet, besides Luby’s okra. But now she can go out to a fancy place, not bother the waitresses and meet with other people suffering from the same affliction. If you don’t want to try wheat-free chow mein, come along and order off the regular menu. Friday. 12 p.m. Pay for the food and that’s all. Firecracker Bistro, 2990 N. Swan Road

“”Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone””

This event is included solely for its startling symbolism. An independent art theater has stooped so low as to play reruns of Harry Potter movies to satisfy the mindless masses. What’s next, The Loft playing “”Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer?”” After that, we’ll have David Lynch directing a “”Legally Blonde”” movie. To give it some credit, “”Sorcerer’s Stone”” was the movie that featured that dog with a bunch of heads, and that was pretty cool. Saturday. 11 a.m. $1. Fox Tucson Theatre, 17 W. Congress St.

“”No Heaven, No Hell – And I Can Prove It: A Challenge to the Personal Afterlife Religions””

Here’s a guy who thinks he can prove that there’s no afterlife. He’s obviously not quoting from the Bible, so maybe he’ll get one of those people from “”Psychic Detective”” to vouch for him. Maybe he can bring in some dead people and ask them to testify, too. I, for one, would enjoy the late Kurt Vonnegut, especially because the event is in a library. Anyway, seems interesting. Sunday. 1:30-3:30 p.m. Free. Joel D. Valdez Main Library, 101 N. Stone Ave.

Attack of the Giant Squid

When I saw that this band was playing at The Living Room, that tiny place where all those 17-year-old scenesters hang out and try to bum cigarettes off bar folk, I thought they’d be some kind of screamo act. But, surprisingly, they aren’t. Attack of the Giant Squid plays instrumental post-rock music, but in a young sceney kind of way. Unfortunately, the group has committed the worst music faux pas of all time: jazz saxophones. But that’s easy to forgive. Go see them if you like to stare at people with severe haircuts. Sunday. 7:30 p.m. $5. The Living Room, 413 E. Fifth St.

– compiled by Andi Berlin