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The Daily Wildcat

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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat

 

    On the spot

    We saw microbiology junior Steven Gould in front of Yavapai Residence Hall.

    Wildcat: You’re on the spot. What movie featured Johnny Depp playing the role of a pirate?

    Gould: “”Pirates of the Caribbean.””

    W: Yes. How did you feel answering that?

    G: I don’t know. What do you mean?

    W: I don’t know. They just always do those things at the end. I’m trying to be Regis.

    G: I felt good, I felt strong.

    W: What cactus is native to the Saguaro desert?

    G: Don’t you mean Sonora desert?

    W: Sonora desert, you’re right.

    G: Are you talking about the Sonora desert?

    W: I was talking about the Sonora cactus.

    G: I think you have it the other way around, don’t you?

    W: No. You’re wrong. How did you feel answering that?

    G: Confused.

    W: Third question. What brand of makeup uses the slogan, “”Maybe She’s Born With It?””

    G: I have no idea.

    W: Like, “”maybe she’s born with it … maybe it’s . . .””

    G: Maybelline?

    W: Yeah! How did you feel answering that question?

    G: Awkward.

    W: Fourth question. This one’s a little easier. What’s the parabolic reference point for a rectangular prism?

    G: I don’t remember.

    W: How did you feel answering that?

    G: Like an idiot. Should have known it.

    W: What brand of pants did Leonardo DiCaprio wear in “”Total Eclipse?””

    G: I have no idea. I don’t keep up with fashion at all.

    W: Do you know who his co-star was in “”Total Eclipse?””

    G: I’ve never even heard of “”Total Eclipse.””

    W: It was a movie in the ’90s about poet Arthur Rimbaud. His co-star was the guy in “”The Island of Doctor … ugh!”” (Grunts the answer.) “”Island of Doctor … ugh!”” Next question: Who was the secretary of state in 1946?

    G: No idea. History’s not my forté.

    W: What’s your forté?

    G: Science.

    W: OK. What kind of bicycle has the most statistically high chance of leading a person off a cliff?

    G: I’m gonna go with the tricycle.

    W: How did you feel answering that question?

    G: Indifferent.

    W: Last question, science one. What’s a major chemical in phosphorus?

    G: Isn’t phosphorus a chemical?

    W: Yeah, but have you heard of ulterior chemicals?

    G: I have not.

    W: They’re chemicals inside chemicals. It’s … ugh!

    (Pauses.) OK, how did you feel answering that?

    G: Impartial.

    – interview by Andi Berlin

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