In a long-term relationship, it’s understandable that sometimes an intervention is needed to keep a couple on track for a reasonable expectation of happiness. There’s plenty of potential solutions out there, but couple’s retreats? Not my first choice.
While I’m hardly well-versed in adult relationships, between their pseudo-yuppie undertones and association with yet another terribly unfunny Vince Vaughn movie, they always seemed, in a word, rehearsed, and hardly appropriate for spontaneous couples looking to inject some passion back into their relationship without having to submit to trust falls and sex-themed Rorschach tests.
Fortunately, the college equivalent to these melodramatic gatherings is decidedly cheaper, more accessible and infinitely more badass. Feeling the strain of a relationship that’s trending toward lackluster, or simply looking for a way to kick things into the next gear? Go to a concert together.
Let me be clear: logging onto StubHub and making a purchase for two won’t absolve cheating, nor will it salvage any partnership that’s in a tailspin — but, at least in my experience, the couple that enjoys music together, stays together.
A month into our relationship, my boyfriend and I went to see Cage the Elephant at the Rialto Theatre. What started out as just another date night evolved into the first time either of us had really ever been able to really let loose around each other, because no matter how well the date is going, you’ll probably be judged if you climb on top of the table at Sushi Garden and scream, “There ain’t no rest for the wicked” while rocking your air guitar.
Concerts are also surprisingly effective at unveiling sides of your significant other’s personality that you’ve rarely seen before. My main takeaway from that first concert? The guy that protects you from a thrashing mosh pit is this generation’s version of a knight in shining armor: it doesn’t get more valiant than that.
There seemed to be a major takeaway from every concert we’ve been to together indicating what we needed to work on to keep our relationship healthy and fun. The lesson from Odd Future in Tempe: sometimes the things you build up the most won’t meet your expectations, but all you can do is cut your losses, immerse yourself in the experience and have a good time anyway (and it’s OK to bail out early).
Also, after witnessing a backpack-sporting 12-year-old puffing on a blunt, we decided we’re never having kids.
No matter how long we’ve been together, I look forward to each concert we go to more than the last. You never really know what’s going to happen once you hand over your ticket and head toward the stage, but it’s guaranteed to have a hell of a soundtrack. Obviously, if the two of you have polarizing music tastes, hashing out which concerts to actually attend together without feeling like someone is making a major concession is couple’s therapy in itself. Pick an artist or group with widespread appeal (The Shins are in town next Wednesday. Need I say more?), or an unfamiliar act worth taking a chance on (try Dr. Dog at the Rialto this Monday). Better yet, opt for a full lineup, festival-like format (like Sunday’s “Fall Ball,” helmed by KFMA and featuring the Offspring, Everlast and the Wombats, to name a few) to transform a date into an all-day event.
If music works wonders for your mood, your stress levels and your general status as a worthwhile human being, why not let it do the same for your relationship? Tucson’s concert scene is on the rise, and has been for a long time, so bear witness.
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