Did you hear about what’s going on with Aaron Carter?

I did. A million dollars in back taxes.

If you make money you’ve got to give some of it to the government. I thought that everybody knows that.

Well when you’re a 16-year-old pop star you don’t necessarily realize it.

Yeah, but I mean you’ve still got to follow all the rules and the laws, right?

I mean, his family never did.

Really?

Wasn’t his dad in jail or something and his brother assaulted someone?

I wouldn’t put it past them I guess. They are kind of a dysfunctional family.

Yeah, that’s not exactly a legal family.

Did you hear about the whole Nicolas Cage thing and what’s going on with him?

Isn’t he selling all of his houses or something?

Yeah, pretty much all of them. I think he has like five or six houses that he’s trying to sell right now.

Did you hear what he had in the houses though?

Hmm mmm.

Aside from the crazy amounts of cars that he had, he had shrunken Indian heads and all sorts of crazy stuff that he’s just been interested in and bought. I don’t know.

Well how much can shrunken Indian heads possibly cost?

I don’t know. I’m guessing if they’re sacred then they’d be a lot of money.

— Brian Kimball