“Oh na, na, what’s my name?”

On Aug. 26 around 12:08 a.m., a UA student was warned for providing false information to law enforcement in reference to being a minor in possession and diverted to the Dean of Students Office.

A University of Arizona Police Department officer was traveling east on Sixth Street from Tyndall Avenue and saw a woman who was having trouble walking down the sidewalk and swaying from side to side. As the officer passed her, he saw that she was on her cellphone while hugging a pair of black shoes to her chest. She did not notice the officer observing her and continued to have trouble walking.

The officer activated his emergency lights and pulled up to the student. The student appeared to not notice and kept walking. However, when the officer called to her, she stopped. The officer asked if she was OK and she said replied that she was. He then asked for her age, and she began to tear up.

The student repeatedly said she was sorry and that it was her first time drinking, adding that she was just trying to make it to her boyfriend’s dorm on Highland Avenue.

The student had no form of identification on her but verbally identified herself. The officer could smell the odor of intoxicants on her breath. The student said she had only consumed one shot of vodka at a friend’s dorm in Coronado Residence Hall.

When the officer checked the name that the student had provided, he found no record of a person with that name. After being asked for her real name, she identified herself with her CatCard and said she was sorry for providing the wrong name previously.

The officer explained the diversion program to the student, and she said she understood.

Shitty situation

On Aug. 26, a UA student was diverted to the Dean of Students Office for underage drinking and criminal littering.

A UAPD officer was patrolling the area around Bear Down Field around 12:09 a.m. in a marked patrol vehicle when he saw a female student trying to conceal herself behind a three-foot tall fresh air intake at the northeast corner of the field.

The student was squatting down with her dress up near her waist. Another woman who was with the student was leaning over the air intake and laughing at the student while she was squatting.

The officer then followed the two students as they walked west on East Fourth Street. When the girls reached the north entrance of the field, the first student tried to conceal herself behind a small tree and again raised her skirt and began squatting.

The officer stopped adjacent to the girls and noticed that the student was urinating. Upon seeing the officer, the student quickly stood up and pulled her dress down. The officer then noticed that the student had fecal matter running down her leg.

The officer spoke with the student, who said she was laughing so hard that she had to pee and accidentally pooped, too.

While speaking with the student, the officer noticed that she had a strong odor of alcohol coming from her breath, as well as bloodshot eyes and slurred speech. The student stated that she had a few mixed drinks at an off-campus party. She also said she had to use the bathroom but was unable to make it back to her dorm at Hopi Lodge Residence Hall. At this point, the student had poop running down her left leg, staining a portion of her dress.

The student was diverted to the Dean of Students Office for underage drinking and criminal littering.