Editor’s note: Super Cool News is a Daily Wildcat feature that shares the, yes, coolest news happening around town and around the country. Try not to take what its writers have to say too literally.
Winter has begun, UA students. Snow gently falls upon the moonlit ground, chestnuts roast on open fires all around us and children can be heard joyously participating in winter pastimes such as sledding and snowball fights.
Oh wait—we live in Tucson.
Many students new to the Tucson area walked outside for the first time this winter and expected to see our beloved desert landscape covered in glorious white winter bliss.
Instead, these poor souls got their first taste of winter in Tucson, and all the cold misery that comes along with it—that’s really all that Tucson offers during the winter months.
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The weather gets cold, windy and, of course, remains completely snow-free. So, those lucky enough to spend winter in Tucson get to experience all the freezing cold nights and runny noses of winter without any of the snow to balance it out.
Don’t let that discourage you, though. It’s still perfectly possible to have a fun-filled Tucson winter. You just have to try a little bit harder.
Some will find hibernation a great winter activity. Make sure to stock up on food beforehand so you have enough to get through the hibernation period. Then, after your last final, cozy up wherever you feel most comfortable and sleep the rest of the winter away. Lots of animals do it, so why can’t you?
“I prefer not to have to deal with the misery of the winter months—I’m more of a summer guy,” said one former UA student. “I always get a runny nose and I hate having to wear a jacket just to walk to class, so I usually just hibernate during this time of year.”
The student added that after the last day of finals, he plans to walk to Mount Lemmon and find a cozy forest spot to hibernate among the bears and other mountain dwellers for the next several months.
Another option for those who want to leave hibernation to the animals is to simply participate in all the activities of a snowy winter, minus the snow. You will soon find that the city dump has some of the best options for winter fun.
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Simply roll some trash into three spherical creations, stack them on top of one another, add some eyes and an old, thrown out carrot and before you know it, you will have created your very own garbage man. Your hands will still be frozen, and that’s half the fun, right?
Make sure to bring your sled to the garbage dump as well, because monstrous piles of trash present some of the greatest possible sledding opportunities. The feeling of pure bliss one gets from trash sledding cannot be rivaled by any other activity, so you will certainly not want to miss out.
Bring all your friends and participate in a classic Tucson snowball fight, which basically consists of people hurling small pieces of garbage at one another. Oh, the joys of winter.
Luckily, Tucson does offer some festive opportunities for fun in the winter.
The Winterhaven Festival of Lights, for example, is a popular event that gets Tucsonans in the mood for the holidays. If you are in a relationship, Winterhaven presents the perfect opportunity to share the holiday spirit with that special someone. If you’re single, on the other hand, it gives you the perfect chance to feel absolutely miserable and lonely, courtesy of all of the disgusting couples gawking at the lights. In short, it really does have something for everyone.
As you can see, there are plenty of ways to make the best of winter here in good old Tucson. From trash fighting to hibernation, each and every person will find a way to deal with the cold and the lack of snow.
Follow Alec Kuehnle on Twitter.
