We caught up with linguistics junior Kerwin Ross while he was moving into the dorms.

Wildcat: Hi, you’re on the spot. If you could live in anybody’s room on the planet, whose would it be?
Ross: No idea.
W: It could be a celebrity or a dead person…
R: Will Smith would make a good roommate.
W: Why?
R: Will Smith’s just a BAMF.
W: A Bamp? What does that mean?
R: He’s just awesome.
W: Is that like a new term? Who invented that?
R: It’s an acronym.
W: What’s the acronym for?
R: BAMF
W: Like, Buy a mother…
R: No, that’s not right.
W: Do you have a sex policy with your roommate?
R: There’s a funny story about someone who wanted to make sure they had the policy and they’re like, ‘Oh, the sock on the door thing’s not gonna work because it’s cliché and everyone will know and so they’ll mess with you.’ So he decided he wanted to write ‘We have milk’ on their little whiteboard on the outside so they figured that would be their code signal.
W: What does milk mean, like cream or something?
R: Er, ‘We need milk,’ is what it’s supposed to be.
W: That’s even more disgusting!
R: So it’s supposed to be completely like something that you would just, ‘Oh, we need milk.’ So no one would know what was going on.
W: If you need milk like at least a couple times a week, say you’re really successful in your social life at the moment, I mean aren’t people gonna get a little suspicious?
R: I’ve known people that drink tons of milk.
W: If you’re having sex, don’t you want to advertise it?
R: Well, everyone kind of knew what it meant, but everyone used it as a joke afterwards once everyone found out.
W: So, the girl’s the only one that doesn’t know.
R: Yeah, I guess.
W: Are you still scared of going to the bathroom?
R: With girls, I think the community bathrooms are generally dirtier than normal, or dirtier than you would keep your own, and that doesn’t bother guys as much.
W: Well, I’m talking about the smell. Are you scared other people will smell your smell?
R: That has never crossed my mind before.
W: Seriously?
R: That’s not a common thought.
W: That’s so weird, because girls think that all the time. Especially there was this one girl who had a horrible smell, in my dorm, and I don’t know if she thought that but I hope she did.
R: (Silence)
W: If you could make a dorm rug out of any food, what would it be?
R: I don’t know, peaches. That might feel good, I dunno.
W: Mmm. Would you eat it afterwards?
R: No. I don’t want to eat something people are stepping on.