Spring Break: Maybe it’s the midterms; maybe it’s the pollen; maybe it’s that there are two months left until the end of the school year. But whatever it is, it makes people want to get out there and do something a little crazy. Now, before you convince yourself you’re never going to see him or her again, “”What happens in Mexico/Las Vegas/insert location stays in …,”” why not avoid the awkward phone calls, the doctor visits, and go with the “”let’s not and say we did?”” There is many a filthy, dirty cocktail to experience, and the worst that can happen is a hangover.

Pink Prostitute

1/2 oz. Crème de Noyaux

1/2 oz. White Crème de Cacao

1/2 oz. Crème de Banane

1 1/2 oz. cream

Grade: A

Potency: Light

Smooth, pink and oh-so-creamy — think somewhere between melted ice cream and Ovaltine for grown-ups. You can recognize the complementing tastes of banana, chocolate and nut merge together and call forth memories of childhood. Best as a dessert cocktail, any more than two might give you the queasies. Barbie, step aside — there’s a new doll in town, and she doesn’t play nice.

Blowjob

1/2 oz. Bailey’s Irish Cream

1/2 oz. Kahlua Coffee Liqueur

1 1/2 oz. whipped cream

A great way to start the evening? Perhaps everyone can agree on that now — it’s not Folger’s in your cup, but it is Kahlua, Bailey’s and whipped cream, which is sweeter, heavier and more of a wind you down than wind you up; thicker, dessert-like consistency similar to a Pink Prostitute but with darker notes of coffee bean and a bit more of a bite with the whiskey-based Irish Cream. Topped with a blossom of whipped cream, most of its potency is lost to its sugary body.

Orgasm

1/2 oz. Bailey’s

1/2 oz. Amaretto

1 oz. half and half

1/2 oz. Kahlua

Grade: B

Potency: Light

This white and creamy cocktail is a girl’s best friend. It’s not too pungent but has just enough of a kick to remind you that you aren’t just drinking some sweet cream. With a hint of vanilla and an aroma of nougat, this gentle drink is delish. For any lady looking for a dessert-type drink with a light booze factor but a sweet and creamy flavor, you’re set — give the orgasm a sip.

Sex on my Face

1/2 oz. Yukon Jack Canadian Whisky

1/2 oz. Malibu Coconut Rum

1/2 oz. Southern Comfort Peach Liqueur

1/2 oz. Banana Liqueur

Splash of cranberry juice

Splash of pineapple juice

Splash of orange juice

Grade: A

Potency: Light

A girly drink indeed — this drink is embarrassing and amusing to order. There is just enough mixer to hide the intense bite of the alcohol. The alcohol content is a bit higher, so be sure to sip. Tropical fruit punch revved up is the perfect description for this cocktail.

Buttery Nipple

1 oz. DeKuyper Buttershots

1/2 oz. Irish Cream

Grade: A

Potency: Light to Medium

Depending on the pour, this shot can vary in strength. No matter what, you will be served the sugary goodness of butterscotch. Yet another creamy drink with a dirty name, this is like dessert in a shooter. If creamy candy is your thing and alcohol isn’t, this shooter will definitely satisfy your craving.

Sex with an Alligator

½ oz. Midori

½ oz. Chambord

½ oz. Jägermeister

1 ½ oz. Sweet and Sour

Grade: B

Potency: Light to Medium

If you haven’t had Sex with an Alligator yet, you may find yourself asking for it with surprising regularity from now on. Light green lurks between layers of reddish-brown, and, on each sip, it snaps — a soft melon zing first touches your taste buds before mellowing into the darker wash of heavier raspberry. Though it smells of licorice, the taste never rises over the dominant melon or raspberry flavors.

Screaming Orgasm

1 oz. Vodka

1 1/2 oz. Amaretto

1/2 oz. Coffee Liqueur

1 1/2 oz. Irish Cream Liqueur

Grade: B

Potency: Medium

The Orgasm’s big sister is a little bit rougher around the edges. The Screaming Orgasm still has the creamy and delicious undertones of its little sister, but its alcohol content is just a bit higher. The hint of coffee makes this drink a little bit more mature as well. Great for after dinner.

Between the Sheets

1 oz. DeKuyper Triple Sec

1/2 oz. Three Barrels Brandy

1/2 oz. White Rum

Splash lemon juice or Sweet and Sour

Grade: B

Potency: Strong

With 30 percent alcohol by volume, this drink has a bite, but a lot of what happens Between the Sheets does. Served in a martini glass after being shaken with ice, this drink doesn’t have much to cover up its boozeiness. There is a fruity kick that makes this drink perfect for the novice drinker and cocktail connoisseur alike.

Editor’s Note: In ranking the drinks, we’ve used a scale of light, medium and strong. Light means the alcohol could barely be tasted in the drink, medium that there was a slight bite of alcohol, and strong drinks had enough alcohol to burn and were very intense. All drinks were prepared at The Shanty, 401 E. Ninth St.