From now on, I’m going public with every problem I encounter.
Why not? It works for celebrities.
I had to park on the fifth level of the Tyndall Avenue Parking Garage last week — I know, I know, life is so rough. Maybe a complaint to the valet people near Gentle Ben’s would have earned me enough sympathy to score a premium spot for my truck.
Well, maybe not. I’m not a celeb. But it’s worth a shot.
For celebrities, problems can disappear overnight with a little bit of self-inspired publicity, no matter the severity. And that makes me jealous.
ESPN reporter Erin Andrews was caught on camera by some peephole creeper in a hotel and exposed on the Internet. She took a little bit of time off, talked to Oprah and then decided to become a participant on Dancing with the Stars with partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy, and now everything is copasetic. Rather than hiding behind closed doors (most likely the ones without peepholes) and doing nothing about her confidence and public image, she faced her problem, flipped it off, and then outran it on foot by way of the Fox Trot.
That shows her strength and ability to take a hurtful event from the past, overcome and forget about it, and try her hand at something new and adventurous — in the public light.
It shows her beauty, inside and out.
I’ve got a buddy who threw a wiffleball bat through a window two stories up this weekend — talk about butterfingers. But no matter how much he tries to weasel his way out of trouble with his landlord, he’s still going to get a bill for the new glass. Going public won’t get him very far.
Not a chance — he’s no celeb. But it’s worth a shot.
Tiger Woods, on the other hand, crashed his Escalade and cheated on his wife with about a million women, and he’s in good standing now. He took some time off, checked himself into a clinic and is golfing again. He’ll speak to the media this week and try for his fifth Masters title.
For Tiger, time — and speaking publically about his poor decision-making — has healed all wounds.
Meanwhile, another friend of mine has had problems of his own, but I’m afraid the media won’t be able to enhance his image. On Friday he walked into a pole on campus and got a gnarly gash near his eye. But going public about this dramatic incident will only draw laughter and will not help his cause.
Not a chance — he’s not a celeb. But it’s worth a shot.
Sure, my friends and I have very trivial problems compared to Erin Andrews and Tiger Woods, but I think I’ve discovered the formula for ultimate recovery: Tell everyone you can.
Why not? It works for celebrities.
— Lance Madden is a journalism senior. He can be reached at editor@wildcat.arizona.edu.
