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The Daily Wildcat

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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat


    Top 5 people you don’t want to be on campus

    The UA is home to all kinds of people. Some of them might be nice, but there are some types who make you want to fill a pillowcase with bars of soap and hit them with it.

    1. Space taker-uppers: Yes, these are the people who seem to think it is a great idea to take up a four-person table by themselves in the Student Union Memorial Center to read a book in the middle of lunch rush. Do you not see the 150 people holding their plates of food looking for a place to sit? The UA has this great place called the library. That would be a wonderful place to relocate your non-eating self.

    2. Solicitors: These people linger around the union selling unnecessary products. We go to the union to get food or meet up with our friends, plain and simple. These people see that we are eating pizza or Panda Express and talking with our friend, but they still insist on approaching. “Would you be interested in a … (insert expensive item no one needs or wants here)?”

    The best thing to do in that situation is to pretend you don’t speak English, or not make eye contact when you say “No, thank you.” Clearly, they don’t realize how expensive college is since they seem to think we all have this extra cash to spend on pointless items.

    3. Preachers: We now move on to the “I want to shove my opinion down your throat” people, who are kind of similar to the previous group. It’s a beautiful day out, you’re on your way to a class that starts in 10 minutes, and there they come, paper and pencil in hand. You walk faster, but it’s too late. “Excuse me, can I ask you a few questions?” They ask. This basically translates to “I’m going to kindly interrogate you about your religion.” After a couple times, we learn to say “I’ve got class,” even if we don’t. We get freedom of speech, but seriously, no one has time for that one-sided nonsense.

    4. Boarders: You can hear these people coming from about 20 feet behind you. The sad thing is, they don’t ever sound like they’re slowing down. Yes, it’s the infamous long boarders. Let’s be fair here — there are long boarders who actually ride where they are supposed to and keep their distance from students. The irritating ones are those who think it’s a good idea to tailgate you to get you to move over. There are sidewalks for a reason, and there are streets for a reason. Figure it out.

    5. Stoppers: These creatures think it is a great idea to stop in the middle of a busy sidewalk on campus to have a conversation. There is no such thing to them as pulling over out of the way, or simply waiting.

    When you are one of these people, think back to this, and remember you are probably irritating someone at that moment. Snap out of it. Don’t be these people.

    — Danielle Carpenter is a pre-journalism freshman. She can be reached at or on Twitter via @WildcatOpinions.

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