If you missed the MTV Video Music Awards Sunday night, you did yourself a favor. If that didn’t give its quality away, let me put it into simpler terms: it was awful.
It’s actually baffling how this is even still a thing. The VMAs reached a new level of embarrassment this year. While there are awkward and cringe-worthy moments every year, this year was nothing but those moments.
In the past, though they were still more of a joke, there were the occasional enticing moments. Lady Gaga made a splash at the 2009 VMAs with her performance of Paparazzi — remember white unitard, fake blood everywhere — which I thought was great because at the time, the VMAs (and that memorable performance) provided Gaga with a crucial opportunity to define herself when her career was not fully established. She also had a slew of ridiculous outfits which back then were still a novelty to us.
A quick aside about Nicki Minaj and the half-robot, half-Beanie Baby, full crazy getup she topped with a pile of blonde and pink sausages of hair. Gaga always gets the awards for craziest outfit, but if the word “good” comes to mind when you see Minaj’s stab at competing with the wardrobe of the pop powerhouse, I suggest seeing a therapist. Not that Gaga’s are much better but at least she was original, making it more OK.
This year, however, Gaga came out dressed like a man and ended up looking more like a “Grease” reject. Her reasoning, I’m sure, probably had to do with beating the idea that people are born a certain way into our heads.
We get it, Gaga.
We heard the song and we respect the cause but damn, you’re starting to work against it with all your odd preaching. Also, trying to kiss Britney Spears at the VMAs will not do anything to dissuade people from thinking you’re trying to slowly replace Madonna.
The rest of the show wasn’t much better. Probably the most glaring oddity was the way the presenters introduced the awards.
One of the oddest was when the “Jersey Shore” girls presented with Cloris Leachman.
Clearly the “Shore” girls were sober — something I don’t think anyone saw coming — because they were nearly lifeless. The 85-year-old Leachman had more vitality. Still, you could tell she was aware of the short straw she drew, since every line she delivered was laced with trace amounts of disdain and disappointment.
Speaking of drawing straws, is that how they decided who would present? Some of the couplings made sense, but other times it was like the VMA producers just decided to be funny and throw complete opposites together.
Paul Rudd and Rick Ross’ presentation comes to mind as they both talked about how people mixed them up — because we totally bought that one. Oh wait, it was supposed to be ironic because it’s so obviously not true? Not funny.
The performances were pretty unremarkable, save two. Adele performed “Someone Like You,” with only a piano and single spotlight, which was a refreshing change. On the other side of the spectrum were Kanye West and Jay-Z who looked like they were having a blast performing their new single “Otis,” off their collaborative album Watch the Throne.
And the awards, the reason we all were supposed to go: insanity. There are only ever a handful of upsets and the rest are sweeps by heavy hitters. Lady Gaga, Katy Perry and Adele pretty much cleaned house. Plus, Justin Bieber winning best male video was a travesty. (In fact, Bieber winning anything is truly upsetting.)
The 2011 VMAs left me wondering how anyone, professional or not, take this seriously.
While some would argue celebrating music is the point, it’s really about winning those empty awards and since only three people a year really get anything, why bother? So the stars have an excuse to dress up and make nice? Do they need more publicity for their “award-winning” music?
MTV has not been relevant to music for years now and what the channel used to be devolved into a grotesque, corrupted shadow.
The bottom line is this: MTV, if you want to save any credibility, make this year’s VMAs the last. I don’t think we can take any more.
_— Jason Krell is a junior studying creative writing and Italian. He can be reached at arts@wildcat.arizona.edu. _
