Today
Larry the Cable Guy – If you have a “”GIT-R-DONE!”” bumper sticker on the back of your pickup, this is the place to be tonight. Of course, most fans of comedian Larry the Cable Guy can’t read past a second-grade level so this entry is kind of pointless. 7:30 p.m. $42.75. Tucson Arena, 260 S. Church Ave.
Oktoberfest – Three days of food, beer, entertainment, live music, beer, arts, crafts and more beer. Celebrate the true German Oktoberfest tradition with Native American jewelry, burritos and a Budweiser. Is somebody going to tell them it’s still September? 5 p.m. $3. Hi Corbett Field, 3400 E. Camino Campeste.
Tomorrow
Tax Aspects of Social Security – Skip school tomorrow if you want this crash course on how to file your taxes if you’re receiving Social Security. Don’t worry – this won’t affect anybody under 50 because Social Security will be defunct in 20 years, anyway. Maybe you can show up and thank the old people for sucking your bank account dry. 9 a.m. $20. Knights of Columbus Hall, 601 S. Tucson Blvd.
Saturday
!!! (chk chk chk) – In March we described !!!’s sound as being like “”Prince giving Darth Vader a lap dance; kind of creepy, kind of funky, but mostly weird.”” Get your tickets early because Congress probably won’t be able to contain the dance-punk madness. 10:30 p.m. $13. Club Congress. 311 E. Congress St.
Daddy Yankee – See the man who brought the Reggaeton genre to the mainstream with his hit “”Gasolina”” and was named one of Time magazine’s 100 most-influential people. 8 p.m. $40-$125. AVA Amphitheater, 5655 W. Valencia Road
Sunday
Hootie and The Blowfish – This was probably your dad’s favorite band 10 years ago. Funny, I thought these guys died in a plane crash – oh wait, that makes a good metaphor for their careers. 7 p.m. $40-$60 in advance, $45-$65 day of show. Desert Diamond Casino, 1100 W. Pima Mine Road
Tucson reptile and amphibian show and sale – Snakes, alligators, rattle snakes, poison dart frogs, they’ll all be there. Just hope there isn’t a power outage. On second thought, that would make a sweet movie. Doors open at 9 a.m and 10 a.m. on Sunday. $6 for the weekend. Quality Inn event center, 1365 E. Grant Road
Monday
“”The Thing with Two Heads”” ð- This ’70s blaxploitation film takes a white bigot’s head and puts it on a soul brother’s body. I don’t really know what the movie’s about other than that, but it has a sweet poster with a two-headed man racing a dirt bike. Sounds like a recipe for success. 8 p.m. The Loft Cinema, 3233 E. Speedway Blvd.
Underoath – Nothing says you love Jesus like heavy metal, and no band does it better than Underoath. The question surrounding the band isn’t what its next album will sound like but who will they kick out of their band next. With a revolving door of 11 former band members, maybe the next exiling will happen Monday. 7:30 p.m. $18. Rialto Theatre, 318 E. Congress St.
Tuesday
Plain White T’s – Tucson’s Ryanhood will be opening for this pop-punk mainstay. It’s about time the UA hosted a show that college students can actually relate to. Don’t get used to it. Next week at Centennial Hall it’s 1986 Grammy Award Winner Dionne Warwick. 7:30 p.m. $12-$22. Centennial Hall, 1020 E. University Blvd.
Tony Bennett – Anthony Dominick Benedetto, better known as Tony Bennett, has been performing for nearly 60 years. Hear the man Sinatra called “”the best singer in the business.”” 7:30 p.m. $35-$85. AVA Amphitheater, 5655 W. Valencia Road.
Wednesday
Surfing the Internet – The Internet can be a mind-boggling place. With sites like Goatse, Hamsterdance and Wikipedia, users can find themselves lost quicker than you can say “”All your base are belong to us.”” Never fear, the Oro Valley Public Library is offering an introductory course on everything Internet. Registration is limited to 10 people. 3:15 p.m. Free. Oro Valley Public Library, 1305 W. Naranja Drive
compiled by Andrew Austin