“”I think if they were casting a film and they wanted somebody to play a heterosexual male lead, they’d probably say ‘wait a minute, that guy was just gay in that movie, and the audience is going to get confused,'”” actor Harry Hamlin, who played a gay character in 1982’s “”Making Love,”” correctly gauging the intelligence of average American moviegoers on the “”O’Reilly Factor.”” I think the audience might also wonder whether the character was still crazy with the “”mental disease”” that Wildcat letter writer Gabriel Leake was talking about last week.

Celebrities are pissed off this week, and they aren’t just taking it with their pants down. Well, one of them isn’t. Tom Cruise is considering suing Life and Style magazine for reporting that TomKat had split up, but were keeping the act together for publicity. Formerly, Cruise tried to sue a gay porn star for $100 million after he said the two had been lovers. Also suing this week is Kid Rock, who’s trying to make sure that his sex tape with Scott Stapp doesn’t hit the Internet. For the first time in my life, I am standing with Kid Rock.

We all saw the advertisement during the Super Bowl and sat in awe. Five blades? “”They must be crazy. It’s too close a shave,”” men said in unison across the country. Well, now I have the new Gillette Fusion with five blades and two comfort strips, and must compliment the R & D department over at Gillette. For those who said it couldn’t be done, check it out, because it’s been done. So long Schick Quattro, you won’t be needed anymore.

No song has delighted me more this week than Broken Social Scene’s cover of “”Puff the Magic Dragon.”” Part of an album of kid-friendly indie rock called See You on the Moon, the song is given the signature BSS treatment: densely produced and emotionally draining.

www.stereogum.com

Donald Trump and Martha Stewart are feuding because no one likes “”The Apprentice”” anymore. Trump wrote an often incoherent open letter to Martha and had it published in People magazine. In it he writes, “”Your performance was terrible in that the show lacked mood, temperament and just about everything else a show needs for success.”” He went on to threaten her with his own daytime show to “”further destroy the meager rating you already have!”” Martha’s response was totally lame and she didn’t call Trump any bad names. Read the letter and response at www.people.com.

Now that we’ve heard the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ single “”Gold Lion,”” let’s make the experience more stimulating with video. In fact, let’s just revisit their entire excellent collection. “”Maps”” introduced us to the hotness of Karen O, “”Y Control”” showed us how Spike Jonze can make children do disgusting things and “”Gold Lion”” has fire.

www.yeahyeahyeahs.com

I recently read that you will begin shooting “”Jurassic Park IV”” next year. While this is pretty enraging, you might want to tag it “”JP4″” on posters and waste more than $200 million on it to upset me further. I’ve also been reading for a while about a new Indiana Jones movie. With Harrison Ford now 63, I can think of no idea that more embodies your unbelievable greed. While I haven’t liked your movies since 1991’s “”Hook,”” 2005 was a banner year. “”War of the Worlds”” is your worst film in some time, and the “”Munich”” publicity stunt was more exciting than the film itself. Yet somehow you earned a bunch of Oscar nominations. And everyone still loves you. And your movies all make tons of money. Well, I’ve got some news that’s going to hurt you, Mr. Spielberg: Scattershot doesn’t really care for you.