If you haven’t braved the two-hour lines to get a taste of In-N-Out Burger, well, you must not be a Tucsonan. Forgive us if we sound snide, but is it really any surprise that T-Locs would stand in line longer than it would take to drive to a Phoenix In-N-Out? It shouldn’t be – there’s just not that much to do here in the Old Pueblo. So In-N-Out uses fresher lettuce, prints biblical verses on its cups and has a “”secret menu.”” Big whoop. If you go to Burger King, the manager has a real secret menu (read: crack cocaine) and you can talk to Jerry the Hobo, who will probably tell you that your aura “”smells funny.”” For making a mountain of a molehill, Tucson’s infatuation with In-N-Out gets a Fail.
It’s rare that you’d get through a televised college basketball game without seeing at least three commercials heralding the accomplishments of the NCAA’s “”student-athletes.”” So it seemed a little strange when the Arizona Daily Wildcat reported Wednesday that the NCAA had threatened to revoke UA basketball player Fendi Onobun’s eligibility for co-writing a book about “”showing by example how to be successful young men.”” Indeed, this seems like exactly the kind of thing the NCAA would want to trumpet, splashing it across T-shirts, bookstores and TV ads whenever its student-athletes partake in less savory pursuits (DUIs and stolen bagels, perhaps?). It’s true that college athletes shouldn’t profit from their status, but for interpreting its rules in a way that does more harm than good to student-athletes, the NCAA gets a Fail.
No. 2 on UA students’ complaint lists (behind Ugg boots paired with mini-skirts): long lines at the Student Recreation Center. Thank goodness, then, that the Rec Center has finalized its plans for a new two-story fitness room with more weight and aerobic machines, a sand volleyball court and a bouldering area. The Rec Center expansion has been a long time coming, and administrators may have to return to the Arizona Board of Regents for an increase of the construction budget. Even so, for increasing the student quality of life, the finalized Rec Center plans get a Pass.
Who in their right mind would find humor in rotting fish, cow and pig organs? Obviously four UA students who have nothing better to do with their time. Never mind finals or the fact that the semester is steadily coming to a close: These students thought it would be funny to load up a U-Haul with various animal parts and stash it in a midtown neighborhood along with bottles of bleach and ammonia. This caught the attention of a hazardous waste team who summoned the likes of a bomb squad, according to the Arizona Daily Star. Several midtown homes were evacuated along with a preschool. The students, apparently, were going to dump the animal parts in someone’s yard as a prank. Well, that didn’t work out so well. For wasting people’s time and for disgracing the UA, these students receive a Fail.
