Editor’s note: Super Cool News is a Daily Wildcat feature that shares the, yes, coolest news happening around town and around the country. Try not to take what its writers have to say too literally.
Well, fellow Wildcats, the heart-crushing day we have all dreaded for so long has finally arrived. That’s right, the new school year has begun. We’ve had to say goodbye to our summertime bliss and return to the UA, where projects, tests and homework await us once again.
Luckily, we still have a few days to transition ourselves back into the old routine. This miraculous pre-semester break in a college student’s life is known by many as syllabus week.
Of course, students have plenty of options when it comes to spend this glorious time of limbo between summer relaxation and the stress of college, but take this advice if you truly want to spend the week in a way that appropriately honors summer break and prepares you for the semester ahead.
1. First and foremost, don’t go to class. Everyone knows syllabus week is just a huge waste of time anyway, so why even bother? As informative as it may seem to hear your psychology professor wearily read the course syllabus word-for-word, wouldn’t you rather take a nap? If you answered ‘no’ to that question, then you have a lot to learn if you plan to make it here at the UA.
2. Some of you may find yourself in the highly unfortunate predicament of getting on the wait list for a class, meaning you have to show up during the first week just to try and secure a spot in the course. If you find yourself in this situation, don’t go. Who are these professors to force you to actually attend classes during the first week of school? Just don’t do it. You don’t need that kind of negative energy in your life; it’s not like you’re only purpose here is to go to class, right?
3. Make sure to relax, have fun and keep productivity to an absolute minimum. Save your effort for when shit hits the fan in the middle of the semester and you have four tests and three papers all due in the same week. Instead, use this time to explore a new part of campus that you never knew existed. With a campus this large, you will discover new places that you never knew about pretty much all the way up until graduation.
4. Make a complete fool of yourself or engage in one or more stupid acts of drunken belligerence. If someone asks you why you did it, just reply with “It’s sylly week,” and it will justify just about anything.
5. Syllabus week also creates a great opportunity to check out the UA’s award-winning Student Recreation Center, especially if you’re one of those obnoxious people who keeps telling all your friends how much you’re going to work out now that the new school year has started. Syllabus week provides the perfect opportunity to pretend you’re getting in shape and inflate your ego while your not-so-swole friends foolishly attend their classes and listen to professors give so-called “vital information regarding the rest of the semester.”
Give me a break. You don’t have any real responsibilities yet, so make sure not to waste that. Even right now, as you read this article, question how much effort you’re exerting and go do something else that requires less.
Next week, go to class and do your homework like a good little college student, but until then, cut loose, relax and take advantage of glorious syllabus week. Follow this advice and you will surely make the successful transition from summer break to syllabus week and finally into the painful heart of the semester. Welcome back, Wildcats, and get sylly.
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