Private armies disastrous down the road

I was reading Nik Turner’s letter on privatizing force Thursday. I read with more interest than most – as he’s my son. It was a bit surprising that someone I raised could be so off the mark. He doesn’t seem to understand that the idealism of international intervention over private firms doing the job has realistic implications later on down the road. If we allow private armies that work for the highest bidder to form now – what happens later on, especially in an era where we are trying to contain terrorist groups that answer to nobody? We must hold the higher ground on this issue or else we lose the upper hand in current conflicts. Also, my son was off the mark when he said that Sandline had learned from previous mistakes fighting against UNITA in Angola. What he meant to say is that Sandline fought on both sides of the conflict (even against the side paying them) because the U.S. paid them more to protect oil interests there. I am surprised that my educated and intelligent son would miss these crucial points for the sake of a compelling argument that sounds nice but is ultimately lacking in the substance necessary to make it true.

Early marriage not a mistake

Mike Morefield, in his column, “”Say ‘I don’t’ to marriage,”” is not in a position to tell engaged UA students that, “”You are making the biggest mistake of your lives.”” This is a gross generalization; age is relative – people of the same age have varying maturity levels; therefore, entrance age into marriage will differ as well. This column is a testament to how devalued and disrespected marriage has become in American society. I agree that our 50 percent divorce rate is a problem; however, I do not think the high divorce rate can be attributed primarily to entrance into marriage at an early age. People need to realize that in marriage one will face challenges and difficulties; these challenges should not be met with defeat. Rather, difficulties should be addressed through effective communication, love and patience. It is not inevitable that young marriage will end in divorce court. My mother graduated here December 1977, a semester early, and was married by February 1978. My parents faced their share of challenges: In their first year of marriage my mother was diagnosed as a Type 1 diabetic, their car was totaled and they faced financial challenges associated with marrying young. However, they were able to overcome these challenges and have been married 28 years. The challenges a young married couple faces, if addressed properly, will strengthen each partner individually as well as mutually.

Age no object for marriage

In response to Mike Morefield’s arrogant and ignorant column about marriage, I have this to say: I’m sorry you are so bitter, Morefield. I’m sorry that I found the love of my life at a young age. I’m sorry that you don’t realize that marriage is about communication, commitment and partnership rather than how old someone is or how much money someone has. I guess my mom was wrong when she got married at 22, even though my parents are celebrating their 30th anniversary this year. I guess my fiancǸ’s mother was wrong when she got married at 24 even though his parents are celebrating their 33rd anniversary this year. What makes a marriage work does not depend on how old someone is or if he is financially stable; it depends on the people who are making that commitment. A successful marriage is based on communication, compatibility, maturity (which does not have a specific age attached to it) and commitment to each other. People change all throughout their lives, not just in college. People who decide to get married have realized they want to go through life with that person. Yes – marriage is a big decision that should not be taken lightly, but it is the decision of those individuals. Just because you aren’t ready for marriage doesn’t mean no one else is. Instead of being bitter, why not be happy for those people who have experienced what true love and commitment is really about? I’ll call you when my fiancǸ and I are celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary together so that you can apologize.

Marriage can always wait

Mike Morefield was right on when he wrote about marriage in the Arizona Daily Wildcat column, “”Say ‘I don’t’ to marriage.””

I was only 20 when I married – the first time. I was in love with the idea of being in love and marriage just seemed to go with it … like chocolate sauce on vanilla ice cream. The problem that eventually materialized was just as Morefield described: I grew and changed as a person from the age of 20 to the age of 25. For more than a year I agonized whether to end my marriage. We got counseling. We tried. The fact was, we were incompatible and if we had waited to discover that, we wouldn’t have married and wouldn’t have gone through the horribly nasty divorce that followed.

Having remarried at 30, I’m much, much happier five years later and believe that this one will last.

I echo Morefield’s sentiments when I say to everyone considering marriage before the age of 25: Save yourself a lot of pain and humiliation. Wait. It won’t hurt. If the relationship doesn’t last the wait then it won’t last the marriage.

Pornography letter overstated the problem

With all due respect to Kyle Wade and his articulate denouncement of pornography, it is important to point out the significant shortcomings of his arguments.

Let’s look at the numbers.ÿIn 2003 Nielsen ran a survey to determine global Internet usage penetration and found that 580 million people had Internet access.ÿUsing Wade’s number (260 million porn sites), this implies that half the people who use the Internet are pornographers.ÿHe also states that there are “”60 million hits a day”” to these sites, and the majority of online porn viewers are between 12 and 17 years of age.ÿThere are 20 million children ages 12 to 17 in the U.S. (2000 Census), and the U.S. represents roughly 30 percent of the Internet’s using population (Nielsen).ÿSo according to Wade, at least 30 million children see porn daily – 9 million in the U.S. alone.ÿIf his numbers seem ridiculous, it’s because they’re wrong.

This country is hell-bent on vilifying sex.ÿWe hear it on a daily basis – from the White House to our churches and most places in between – that sex is dirty and evil, and if you have it outside marriage or without the intent to reproduce, or you think about it, or it’s with another person of the same sex, you are going to Hell.ÿIt is this constant repression that causes people to do the horrible things they do.ÿ

If we acknowledge that most rapists view pornography then we must also acknowledge that the overwhelming majority of porn viewers (greater than 99.9 percent) will never commit rape.ÿ

Rape existed long before pornography as we know it, far longer than the World Wide Web, and it will continue to exist as long as people like Wade continue to make “”problems”” of non-issues.

Wade’s goals are admirable.ÿOne ought to have a meaningful relationship if he or she wants it, but one cannot draw any conclusions about a person’s character based on the knowledge that person views pornography.ÿYou may not like porn, but you cannot make it your scapegoat.