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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat

 

Expecto … Harry Potter mania!

ZOMGz. It’s almost here. Geeks, nerds, normal people and fundamental Christians are all freaking out in perfect harmony (the last one for different reasons).

As I’m sure you know, the next installment of the Harry Potter series is due to come out on Nov. 19 (or sooner if you have a time turner). As one half of the climatic final story in the “”Harry Potter”” phenomenon, everyone is acutely aware that this is a colossal, remarkably big deal. As a spectacle, it promises to be the PG-13 cinematic equivalent of five beer-bonged Four Lokos, which is a perfectly acceptable analogy.

There is no doubt that the 19th will bring about lines upon lines of costumed fans, running an amazing spectrum of ages, and will undoubtedly make box office gold. The question, then, with only two of these events left is: Is this the beginning of the end for the “”Harry Potter”” phenomenon?

Obviously, you ignorant boggart, it’s not.

“”Harry Potter””, the story of a young orphaned boy with magic powers who goes to school a lot (basically), is a cultural phenomenon that has Boston Marathon-worthy legs built into it. When former Twi-hards are asking, “”Edward who?”” in the near future, you can bet your bottom Knut that the Hogwarts community will still be going strong, shouting out spells drunkenly in public (I’m sure other people do this too), writing awkward fan fiction and pissing off over-zealous religious nuts everywhere.

There will be a brief but palpable moment after the second movie; a global hushed silence where everyone will look at each other and exclaim, “”What now?!”” However, this will pass quickly as they smile, slap a palm to their forehead and say, “”Of course! The Wizarding World of Harry Potter Theme Park in Orlando, Florida!”” and then start fueling up the car.

I also anticipate a two-year transition period, tops, after the last movie before J.K. Rowling makes a publicity power move in some form or another. Whether it be posthumously declaring a character gay or releasing another book in the series, I assure you she will get tired of whatever beyond-rich eccentric activities she is up to and launch herself back into the magical fray. It is true that she did not leave herself a lot of room (SPOILER ALERT) for more books with what is undoubtedly the worst epilogue ever: “”Come along now, young Severus Dumbledore Hagrid Dobby Nagini. Oh Hermione, isn’t it superb that we all paired off and grew up?! Now give me some snog, sugar.”” But I still think she will find a way to continue the trend. For the ravenous followers of Harry and company, all it will take is a small spark to reignite their love, and as such, any extraneous literature published by Rowling should be commercial gold.

After the seventh “”Harry Potter”” book was released, Rowling released “”Tales of Beedle the Bard,”” a collection of wizarding folk tales that existed to the characters in the Harry Potter universe. Originally, only seven copies were released, one of which sold for $4 million at an auction. It was later, after much whining from billions of fans, released to the public to great success, and probably to great chagrin of the winner of the auction. As its success shows, any book penned by Rowling that exists in the canon of the Potterverse will of course be a great success, even at the level of Gilderoy Lockhart’s “”Voyages With Vampires.””

So draw your scars, don your robes and line up now, but don’t throw away those cardboard wands at the end of the last movie. You’ll need them for the release of “”Harry Potter 8: Hagrid’s Special Dream,”” and the TV series starring Zac Efron.

I’ll be right there with you, and if I’m hurling green bolts of deadly light at you, that only means I’ve been drinking.

 

— Johnny McKay is a media arts senior. He can be reached at letters@wildcat.arizona.edu.

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