Bust out your Docs and your best boot cut jeans and tank top combo: Kylesa is coming to Hotel Congress tonight at 7 p.m.

The three-part group is a “sludge metal” band (what does that even mean?), according to Wikipedia, making it sound as though their sound emulates a cross between Swans and Earl Greyhound. It does not do that.

Based off a few songs from their last album, Exhausting Fire, their sound was not subtle at all and it was completely unexpected, based off Wikipedia’s sludge metal description. I like A Perfect Circle, I regularly listen to “Slow Chemical” by Finger Eleven and I know most of “Meteora” by heart. Glass houses and stones, what have you.

The breakdown:

“Crusher”

If you’re into dynamite lyrics that sound like they were taken straight from a deactivated AIM account, well, good for you. I’m not, but that’s cool. I just don’t like poorly written things. I’m snotty like that. The instrumentation reminds me a lot of filing papers. You know where it’s going to hit next; there are no real leaps being taken here. It’s like when you listen to “Into the Groove” by Madonna. I don’t know the words, but damn, if I can’t guess them. It’s fine because “Into the Groove” doesn’t want to be deep, but I’m getting a special brand of self-importance from this. The I-don’t-listen-to-that-radio-garbage type, which is just awful in itself.

“Blood Moon”

It’s lyrically better, I will give this song that. It’s kind of got a “Tales of Brave Ulysses” sense of imagery going, but never quite develops past glimpses when you want the full painting. Two songs with a sense that lyrical depth isn’t something they’re going for on account of the fact that I don’t actually know what they’re ever saying. It’s a duet, but that’s all I’m getting. If this has a music video, I bet it’s water-based—like spooky mermaid Hot Topic mall goth.

“Shaping the Southern Sky”

I am just having the hardest time finding things to talk about for this band. This is the same song as the first one. And the other one.

The band is messing with me.

It’s bluesy? Do you like blues? Because then, no, don’t listen to this.

“Night Drive”

Oh, oh, is that some instrumental variation I’m hearing?

No, but this one has screaming, so we’re really hitting all the tropes here. We have an ethereal lady soft voice, a gravelly man voice—only it’s not and he’s really doing his best to convince you otherwise—the ghostly build up into the heavy chorus and the drums. Just everything, every time, so if you like one, you like them all. But if you don’t, it’s just not a fun experience.

“Out of My Mind”

I am a sucker for an album closer, especially when they’re half a day long with three or four tone changes and maybe a spoken word section. If you’re lucky, maybe some dialogue, like a skit. I mean that; I’m not even being a dick right now. All kinds of crazy things could happen. I actually enjoyed this song quite a bit. It has a lot energy behind it, creating this driving intensity that keeps your interest from start to finish. It’s like a text from your crush when you’re trying to study. You’re going to take the “F” and you’re going to finish this song.

Final Say:

I’m biased, and I’m sure by now you’ve gathered that.

When I asked a couple of people if they knew who Kylesa was, let alone what sludge metal was, I got two confused stares. What better way is there to learn than by experience?

“My friend, I think, has played this before,” said Shelby Vandamme, a microbiology senior, as she listened to “Out of my Mind.” “We’d go off and blast it in the desert.”

When prompted on whether she would see them live, she gave a hard yes.

Her enthusiastic yes was a nice foil to Omar Delosreyes’ answer to the same question: a simple, emphatic “nope.” That was it. A hard no. I have to say I’m in the same boat.

This album reminds me a lot of the fermented orange juice I drank last week.

It smelled like booze and it tasted fizzy: things you don’t want from straight orange juice. But I finished the cup. Maybe I enjoyed it a little.

But I definitely lived.

If you see Kylesa you will live, but you probably won’t venture to see them again.

Worth the dough? No.

Follow Sasha Hawkins on Twitter.