Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of guys in tank tops on campus. What are your thoughts on the man-tank?

Oh God, those are bad. It works on some people.

Disagree. What’s better, glitter or sequins?

Glitter. Sequins are so out.

True, holiday season is over. What’s worse, Uggs or Crocs?

Ugh, Crocs! Crocs are terrible. I don’t want to see Crocs ever.

I agree, there’s simply no excuse for a Croc. Thoughts on fur?

It should be fake.

Fair. One of the girls on the show “”Pretty Wild”” was wearing a fur vest over a bikini. It was confusing.

That show is ridiculous. What is wrong with those girls?

What’s wrong is that they were homeschooled by their mom, based on the teachings of “”The Secret.”” I’m serious. Did you see the one where she tried to date Ryan Cabrera?

Yes, at the bowling ally! He had a CD out in like, 2002.

Now he dates Audrina from “”The Hills.””

Oh, that makes sense.

If you were getting paid thousands per episode on some reality show, would you go on a date with Ryan Cabrera, despite his abnormally large head?

No.

Right answer. Would you date a guy in skinny jeans?

How skinny are we talking?

Like hipster skinny.

No.

What about a man-tank?

Ehhh, well I don’t really like frat guys.

Speaking of frat guys, how do you feel about guys who rock the deep-V shirt with a waxed chest?

Well, if it works, it works. It’s a little douche-y. My boyfriend is considering Nair.

—Claire Engelken