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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat


    Maintaining a long-distance relationship

    Hailey Eisenbach
    Photo Illustration by Hailey Eisenbach/Arizona Summer Wildcat

    Starting up a new relationship before leaving for home post-finals may have seemed like a great idea in April, but that was before the prospect of three long months apart made your summer romance the antithesis of romantic. If you’re a newcomer to going the distance with your significant other, know that it’s not easy, but given the right attitude (and a high-speed Internet connection), your relationship will survive to see the coming school year.

    Don’t sweat the small stuff

    When your entire relationship relies on a series of texts and late-night phone calls, it’s easy to interpret delayed replies and one-word answers as assurance that they’re just not that into you after all. The biggest buzzkill in a long-distance relationship is insecurity, so resist the urge to rattle off yet another “What’s wrong?!” message and remember that chemistry and technology aren’t always the best of friends — sometimes things just get lost in translation. Take a step back, carry on with your day and come back to the conversation with a clear head and zero distractions. If you disagree over something, never let the argument escalate over text. Molehills have been known to grow taller than the Himalayas at the hands of an angry phone wielder, so drop the fight altogether or, if it’s something you can’t ignore, give them a call to sort things out once you’ve cooled down.

    Strike a good balance

    The hardest long-distance relationships come with a hefty time difference, when every free moment turns into a time zone addition problem to remember if your partner is even living in the same day as you. If the clock isn’t on your side — you’re off to work when they’re off to bed, and they’re at the bars when you’re at breakfast — solace can be found in setting an agenda. Be flexible: if they’re only free to talk at 3 a.m. tomorrow, set an alarm and Skype away. But don’t always be the one to compromise. Keeping in contact should be a mutual effort and sets the tone for your happiness in the relationship. There will be days where both of you can’t swing it, but that’s OK, because it will give you that much more to talk about next time.

    It’s not the end of the world

    That line about absence and the heart growing fonder, you’ve heard it before, and you’ll hear it a hundred times more from well-meaning great aunts and sympathetic friends before the summer is over. It’s true, though, because couples can get through almost anything together if they can get through being apart. That being said, the days when you can’t help but feel lonely or sad will happen, and you’ll need to take them in stride. Rent a romance and bawl your eyes out (but please, shelf “The Notebook”) or bore your parents to death with the infamous “Nobody understands!” monologue. But know when to draw the line, drag yourself out of bed and start anew. You’re not the first couple to go through this and you’ll hardly be the last.

    Get off Facebook

    Many a relationship has crumbled at the feet of Facebook after a stalking session turned sour. Resist the urge to check your boyfriend or girlfriend’s page every hour because all that can do is make you miss them more or convince you how fun of a summer they’re having without you. Vulnerability can rapidly evolve into jealousy, so keep reminding yourself that there’s so much more to both of you than what’s plastered on your profiles

    Time will tell

    Just when you think you’ve hit a wall — or that your computer will if you hear that awful Skype ringtone one more time — stop and recall why you put yourself in this position in the first place. If you can’t think of a reason, then Houston, you have a problem. But if you think of that person and instantly feel like all of this waiting just may be worth it, you’ll get back that optimism you had when you two first got together. Focus on the future of the relationship, but don’t think of your present as stagnant. Take this time to learn about them and about yourself. The test of time will unveil the highs and lows of your relationship, and whether or not it’s meant to be after all.

    There are only two more months to go. Commence the countdown.

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