Packaged chronologically between the quasi-homoerotic He-Man and the visually violating PokǸmon, the Ninja Turtles wistfully stood out as a bastion of cool during the late ’80s and early ’90s. Even the painfully simple Vanilla Ice “”Ninja Rap”” and a horrid turd of a third movie,””Turtles in Time,”” can’t rebuke the inherent coolness of these five-foot tall, ass-kicking reptiles.
But these aren’t your old heroes in a half-shell; the awkward flapping mouths and rubber suits have been replaced by polished CG models, the Corey Feldmans of past movies have been replaced by seasoned actors like Patrick Stewart and Laurence Fishburne, and (get ready to be shell-shocked) no more Shredder. Now don’t get your geek-panties in a bunch. This take on the Turtles is just as fun. Shredder may be long gone, but all your favorite characters are back. Splinter, April O’Neil and, of course, the epitome of badassness, Casey Jones.
The new movie, simply titled “”TMNT,”” opens with the Turtles separated, chasing personal pursuits. Leonardo is training in South America, Donatello is working technical support, Raphael is taking to the city as a Batman-like masked crusader and Michelangelo is making ends meet by working kids’ birthday parties.
Enter wealthy entrepreneur Max Winters (Patrick Stewart). Seeking to open a portal to an evil dimension, he employs the assistance of an unaware O’Neil (Sarah Michelle Gellar). About half the movie is exposition until the inevitable reunion of the Turtles leads to the final confrontation.
The final battle is sort of a letdown, given the limitless possibilities of computer animation. However, its lack of fireworks is easily compensated for by a fight earlier in the movie between Raphael and Leonardo that spills the cool juice all over the floor.
As large as the “”nostalgia”” market may be, the target for this new Turtles flick is still the kiddies. But the movie is entertaining and a fun ride for those who aren’t expecting anything more than what’s advertised.
Ninja Turtle faithfuls may be hesitant to give in to the newer computer-generated versions of the amphibians, but the new “”TMNT”” will most definitely please. Although it may not cause any nerd-gasms, this movie hits all the bases with Turtle fans. Cowabunga!
