Why did you chose that major?

Wait, am I being interviewed?

Yes, this is the interview part… again why did you chose that major?

Because I like politics and it’s cool to be a politician.

You can just be yourself, I can tell you are a little nervous.

No, I just don’t want to sound stupid. I felt awkward spelling my name like in kindergarten or something.

The reason I approached you is, I heard you chatting about Jersey Shore.

Oh yeah.

Who is your favorite character?

Ronnie B.

I am personally a fan of Pauly D.

Naw, I am not. I do not like Pauly D.

Do you think Snookie is hott?

The answer to that probably isn’t acceptable to print.

Do you like her better with the red streaks or blonde?

Why don’t we stop talking about Snookie and talk about Sam.

Oh you’re a Sam?    

Sam is fine.

How do you feel about her recent situation with Ronnie though?

No one cares. Ronnie is a pimp. I like Ronnie. I follow Ronnie’s ways. Partying with the fellas is the way to go.

Where?

I can’t disclose that information.

Anyways, I noticed you were talking about wearing your glasses and holding a pencil in class how it made you look more studious. Are you trying to get a new perspective for the year or something?

I’m mature now. I used to be a freshmen and now I’m a sophomore.

You want people to take you seriously?

Yeah, I’m a big boy now. Feel me?

No, not really. When is your birthday?

October 20th.

What are you going to be for Halloween this year?

An officer. Is this going in the Wildcat?

Yes, you have just been put ON THE SPOT.

Kinda like ‘You just been punk’d’?

Exactly, but subtract Ashton Kutcher. Are you pumped for the first home game Saturday?

Well considering I am on the team, yeah I would say so.

Ohh a Wildcat player right before my eyes!

You better be in the Zona Zoo girl.

— Caroline Nachazel