What would happen if you woke up this morning and found yourself at ASU?

I would probably go get tested and make sure I don’t have Herpes or AIDs.

Have you had any near-death experiences?

Um, no. I try to avoid those.

How are you feeling about this last weekend of the semester pretty much before finals? What are you going to do?

Well I have to work, but when I am not working I’ll probably just open up a bottle of vodka and, you know, watch some Netflix until I pass out.

Where do you work?

I work at Bruegger’s Bagels, exciting.

Have you had any rude customers not in the Holiday spirit?

I don’t know, you know what, I am probably more rude to them than they are to me sometimes.

You don’t seem like too much of a holiday person. Are you?

Not really. I am not really into family events unless there is lots and lots of alcohol involved.

What do you hate most about the holiday season?

I have to go back to Iowa where it is really cold and see my family.

Is that where you are from?

Yeah, it’s awful … especially with the cold.

That sounds awful. Do you have to invest in parkas and such?

Oh yeah — and hats and gloves and scarves — all that stuff.

How do you handle that?

Well if you are one of these people really into fashion and stuff, you know, sometimes you can look fashionably good in your winter gear, but most likely won’t.

How do you make the winter gear look fashionable?

I don’t know. When you are pretty it’s easy.

So it’s easy for you?

Yeah, I make everything look way better because I look pretty.

Yeah, it really helps out sometimes.

You know it does.

— Caroline Nachazel