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The Daily Wildcat

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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat

 

    Entering the Loft’s ‘Grindhouse’

    When my friend Kelli Horan called me, I only had a vague idea of what I was getting involved in. By the time I finished helping her and her crew of friends, I had been made a sappy cliché and dismembered for it — and in 3-D, no less.

    The Loft Cinema is hosting a competition to see who could make the “”best”” grindhouse movie trailer. The Loft handed fake movie titles to 24 teams on Oct. 9, and they were each tasked with creating a two- to three-minute trailer within 48 hours.

    “”Grindhouse”” is a term for movie theaters that showed exploitation films, which often involved massive amounts of violence, destruction, gore, drugs, sex and nudity. More often than not, these grindhouse movies had low budgets, cheap dialogue and bizarre titles such as “”Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS”” and, more famously, “”Night of the Living Dead.””

    I was aware of the competition and the fact that Kelli and Phillip — her husband, the director — had entered. I had told her that I would be willing to help with anything. I assumed I would be helping with sets, props, lighting — all of the technical stuff that would require an extra pair of hands, so to speak. At most, I figured I would be an extra in the background, running around, screaming a lot.

    I did help but in unexpected ways. I skipped and frolicked in a park. I had to twirl around with two cameras, pretending they were my lover’s eyes, while the director followed along to make sure I had a good shot.

    I spoke saccharine lines of dialogue, smiled my best fake smile and moved stiffly toward Brigid Marshall, who earlier said she was often cast as “”the silent pretty girl”” for high school productions.

    Then I screamed my head off because she removed one of my precious body parts — with a pocketknife and no anesthesia.

    I’m fairly certain the children at the playground could hear me while their parents stared, wondering why this guy was yelling as if in pain. Thankfully, none of us had to explain to them what we were doing with bratwursts and a syringe full of cherry syrup.

    With my part completed, Kelli and everyone else moved on to the next scene while I went home to catch a movie.

    Now I’m just waiting for my IMDB entry to be updated after the trailer premieres, and another one of my lifelong goals will be accomplished.

    You can catch The Loft Cinema’s “”The Grindhouse Movie Trailer Massacre”” Tuesday night at 7. Admission is $5. DVDs of the compiled trailers will be available at the screening for $10.

     

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