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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat


Column: In the name of love, opt out of texting mind games

Why do we do the things we do for love?

No, really. Why do we do this stuff, especially when it actually gets in love’s way?

It’s February, and now’s the time to finally try catching the eye of that one person who makes it hard to pay attention in lecture. However, in college, since the old-fashioned technique of “talking in person” is no longer in vogue, people may avoid actually confronting this person and opt for a text message instead.

But where do they begin? Today, not only do many avoid person-to-person contact, but now there is also an over-dramatized “texting rulebook” one must follow before texting anyone they may be interested in. As CollegeHumor has aptly put it, “texting mind games will ruin your life.”

Playing hard-to-get has always been a thing, because some people are under the strange delusion that this will actually make others want you more. But in the digital era, these mind games have gotten more complex.

Undeclared freshman Chloe Thom said she “won’t reply to the first text or even the second text” but will reply on the third. When asked why she does this, she said, “It’s just a rule; I don’t know why I do it, but everyone does it.”

Did I miss the memo? Everyone does this?

“I do use some texting rules but not often,” criminal justice freshman Stephanie Ghanem said. “I try not to act too clingy when texting, but I don’t act completely disinterested.” For example, she said, “I won’t double-text if a guy doesn’t reply.”

Guys’ responses were quite similar.

Pre-business freshman Bryce Hawkins said that the reason guys like him use texting rules is because they “are afraid of the girl thinking [they] are annoying or feel like [they’re] suffocating them.”

Neuroscience and cognitive science freshman Eric Kiberu said that the main reason he uses these rules is because he doesn’t want to “give off the wrong impression or annoy the girl.” Hawkins said he “won’t use emojis, depending on the vibe [he gets] from a girl.”

I’m confused. Don’t people text because they like each other? People should stop being so afraid.

Texting games are unnecessary and unhelpful. Thom stated that though she follows the rules and plays the games, she wishes “people could text how they want and not feel judged.”

So on behalf of love, I make the following plea: Let’s stop judging people who break the rules when texting and work on appreciating the fact that someone likes us enough to reach out.

New media and forms of communication are supposed to make things easier. Let’s not use them to police people’s interactions even more than before.


Jessica Terrones is a journalism freshman. Follow her on Twitter.

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