Bereavement is demanding and burdensome, especially if you’re not dealing with it well. Being in college, there are so many other things to agonize over, like balancing classes and social life. If you toss grief into the mix, students are more prone to mental issues like insomnia and PTSD, and most don’t seek mental health services. In fact, only 44% of college counselors report having given grief counseling in the past year.

While other students are partying and having fun, it is hard for those struggling with grief to reflect on the death. Grades can drop, and people can isolate themselves from friends and family. College can be distracting in an unhealthy way, but it can also keep students busy from thinking about their deceased loved one.

It’s hard for people to talk about losing someone they love, but it’s a necessary activity to help them move on. Whether it’s talking to friends, family, or a trained professional – talking about the loved one’s death can be a healthy way to cope. Speaking to a trained therapist can help people cope by using their strengths to amplify their ability to manage. Expressing your feelings in support groups for bereavement helps you to cope by talking to others who are going through a similar experience.

There are also many other healthy coping methods, like journaling and crying. Writing in a journal or just your notes app can reduce anxiety, create awareness and encourage opening up. Crying reduces pain, detoxifies your body and improves your mood. Also, taking care of your body and mind, like meditating and eating regularly, can improve your situation.

While coping with talking, crying and writing, many people choose to cope with drinking and drug use. Alcohol and drugs, like weed, are easily accessible and can help your mind take a break and can cause feelings of relief. However, using these methods can lead to addiction. These substances can only offer temporary relief; people need to find healthier alternatives to live a healthier life.

My grandma passed away in early August, a week before school started. It was totally unexpected, and it nearly killed me. She was my best friend and confidant but lived 1,500 miles away, so I called her every Sunday.

Seven months later, I am coping better and using healthier coping mechanisms. I write in a journal whenever I feel unhappy and let myself cry if needed.

Grief isn’t linear, you can find peace for years, but one moment can cause you to go off the deep end. Be kind to yourself when this happens. Grief is a sorrowful part of life, but we must grow. Almost everyone has experienced grief before, so finding someone to talk to about it is easier than you think.

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Kelly Marry (she/her) is a sophomore majoring in journalism and public relations. She loves to read and travel in her free time.