What’s up with this whole Super Bowl thing?

It’s crazy.

I don’t get it. What makes it so super? Is there salad in the bowl?

No salad. Soup.

There’s soup in the bowl?

Yes.

So, it’s actually S-O-U-P-E-R Bowl.

No. It’s not. It’s just super soup.

Super soup in the bowl?

In the bowl. With football.

There’s football in my soup?

(Laughs) Yes.

Crap! So, why are people making such a big deal about the Super Bowl?

People love football. It’s America.

Do you love football?

I love football. I’m American.

Do you play football?

No. That’s a terrible idea.

How tall are you?

Five feet.

I think you’re the perfect height to be a linebacker.

Yes. Good thing you said height and not size. (Laughs) Yeah. I could totally be a linebacker.

I think so. I think you could crawl underneath people’s legs. I’m sorry. I don’t actually know what linebackers do, but that seems like it would at least be entertaining.

It would be entertaining.

If you were on a football team, which football team would you be on?

Miami Dolphins.

In “”Ace Ventura: Pet Detective,”” someone stole their dolphin.

Yeah. I do think they have an actual dolphin as their mascot.

OK. Well, I’m going to ride it. If I’m going to do that, will you help me sneak in?

Yes. Because I’ll be on the team.

What would be the best way to sneak into the stadium?

You’d have to dress like one of the football players.

Since you’ll be a linebacker for them, I guess that won’t be hard.

Yeah. We’ll just have to get you a uniform.

OK. Will it have my name on it?

No. Then they’ll know who stole it.

What name will my uniform have on it then?

I don’t know. Dolphin Stealer.

That won’t give me away at all. I’m not going to steal the dolphin. I’m just going to ride it.

(Laughs) Yeah.

OK. So, we’re going to dress like football players, and you’re actually going to be a football player, then I’m going to ride a dolphin.

Super Bowl!

— Katie Gault