Let’s talk about politics in the least-serious way possible. Who’s sexier, Barack Obama or the late,great JFK?

JFK.

Right answer. Who has better style, Michelle Obama or Jackie O?

Jackie, she was groundbreaking.

Fact. Do you think Michelle is fierce?

She’s pretty fierce.

Yeah, definitely a bangin’ mom. And her arms are bananas, she can definitely rock a sleeveless dress. She’s way sexier than Laura Bush. Laura Bush looks like …

A librarian?

Yes, exactly. Would you rather make out with George W. Bush or Ronald Reagan?

Probably Ronald Reagan.

Would you rather smoke a joint with Laura Bush or Barbara Bush?

Laura Bush, because I think she has a crazy side.

How do you think JFK was able to sneak around with all those other women?

Because Jackie was busy doing other things, maybe?

Like commissioning pillbox hats and perfectly tailored suits?

And being best friends with Valentino.

Good point. Would you rather take ecstasy with Dwight D. Eisenhower or Abe Lincoln?

Abe Lincoln.

Right answer. Why Abe?

He sounds smarter.

Definitely. Dwight was sort of a dud. And he’s from Kansas. Do you think Eleanor Roosevelt was a lesbian?

I don’t think so. I heard she was doing witchcraft in the White House though.

Like lesbian witchcraft?

(Laughs.) Probably. I don’t know how much sex there is in witchcraft.

If you were president, and you could pick one celebrity to be your first lady, who would you pick?

That would be …

Lady Gaga.

Amazing answer. Is America ready for first Lady Gaga?

I don’t think so.

Would she have to start wearing pants?

Maybe, like when the politicians from other countries came for dinner.

Good thinking.

— Claire Engelken