Let’s talk a little bit about the world’s favorite game — soccer.

(Pauses) Um, OK.

Do you like soccer?

I’ve never played soccer before or anything like that.

Well, do you like watching games in person or on TV?

Sure, I guess. Why not?

Then you must be excited for Wednesday’s big game, huh?

Sure. (Laughs)

You don’t even know who’s playing, do you?

No, I don’t know.

The U.S. has a World Cup Qualifier (game) against Costa Rica and if they win they’ll be first place in the group.

Oh. (Pauses) OK.

See, nobody really knows about this. Why do you think people in America really don’t care that much about soccer?

It’s not the most interesting sport to watch, really.

Why, just because it’s typically low scoring?

Kind of, yeah. I guess.

I don’t think it gets enough love as a sport. The game is 90 minutes long and there’s only three subs allowed; that’s longer than football and basketball.

Yeah, that’s true. I guess they have to be pretty good athletes.

What do you think soccer could do to get more popular in the U.S.?

Um (pauses) … (inhales deeply)

Or at least to get you to watch it?

(Pauses) Let me think. (Laughs) They could … I don’t know. I think it’s just not really advertised enough. Like, I don’t really know what they could do better, though.

Maybe have more games on ESPN or something?

Yeah, that could work maybe.

It might, but the David Beckham thing really didn’t work out either.

Yeah, that was pretty bad.

Anyway, do you want the U.S. to beat Costa Rica or do you even care?

Yeah, I want them to win.

Are you going to watch it and show a little national pride?

(Pauses) Maybe. (Laughs) Maybe.