Today

Meet humorist, author and arthritis survivor David Jacobson – This guy wrote a book called “”The 7 1/2 Habits of Highly Humorous People,”” which probably includes making lots of pop culture references and acting self-reverent. From what I can tell, the arthritis thing is a joke too. 4:30-5 p.m. Free. UofA Bookstore, 1209 E. University Blvd.

Francisco X. Alarcón Reading – This poet writes in English, Spanish and Nahuatl, the language of the Aztecs. Through chants and sonnets, he explores Chicano issues as well as gay identities. 8 p.m. Free. Modern Languages building, 1423 E. University Blvd.

Tomorrow

“”The Big Lebowski”” – Come see the movie about The Dude that started all that annoying quoting on road trips and random orders for White Russians at the bar. Seriously, they taste gross! Friday and Saturday. 10 p.m. $5. The Loft Cinema, 3233 E. Speedway Blvd.

Gem and Jam – This is the first day in a two-day festival of rock bands, featuring Bassnectar, Glitch Mob, Souleye and Danny Corn. $50 for a two-day pass. 8 p.m. The Hut, 305 N. Fourth Ave.

Valentine’s Day Wine Tasting – If you can’t afford a wine tasting at Armitage, this poor man’s get-together at the supermarket can still do. Attendees will get to taste a Shiraz rose, sparkling wines and even some fancy cheeses. 4:30 p.m. to 7 p.m. Free. Wild Oats Market, 3360 E. Speedway Blvd. (21+)

Guest Viola Duo Recital – Scott Slapin and Tanya Solomon will perform works by contemporary composers such as Frank Proto and David Rimelis. It’ll be kind of like dueling banjos, except classy. 7 p.m. Free. School of Music, Holsclaw Hall, 1017 N. Olive Road.

Saturday

Donovan – This is that ’60s singer-songwriter who performed the song “”Mellow Yellow,”” which was bastardized in that Gap commercial with all of those alien-looking people in corduroy. 8 p.m. $32.50 to $90. Fox Theatre, 17 W. Congress St.

Third Annual TucsonFilm.com ShortFest – Films for the modern attention span, especially after doing all that ecstasy, coke and crystal meth behind the water machine at 7-Eleven. Better yet, the theater is a great place to hide from the cops. 7-10 p.m. $10. Crossroads Cinema, 4811 E. Grant Road

Sunday

Fourth Annual Shalom Tucson Jewish Arts Fair – This arts festival will feature pottery, textiles, paintings, jewelry and films from the Jewish Film Festival. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Free. Tucson Jewish Community Center, 3800 E. River Road

Monday

George Clinton and Parliament-Funkadelic – Go see this campaign rally, even though his wife has already taken the state. Four more years! 8 p.m. $29 in advance, $32 at the door. Rialto Theatre, 318 E. Congress St.

Tuesday

J.A. Jance – This famous mystery writer will be on campus supporting her book, “”Hand of Evil,”” which is actually about an extremely dubious hand who turned into a demon after getting a palm tattoo from Satan. All right, I think it’s about a person. 4:30-6 p.m. Free. UofA BookStore, 1209 E. University Blvd.

Wednesday

St. Valentine’s Day Eve Massacre – Bands such as Uncle Fister, Ultramaroon, Saber Tooth Snatch and Mozart’s Sister will be playing in honor of sex day. That Uncle Fister sounds pretty enticing. 9 p.m. Free. Club Congress, 311 E. Congress St.