Grab bag

Springer's security guard gets own show

If anyone has ever watched at least one episode of the realistic portrayal of human emotion in "The Jerry Springer Show," you have to remember that really tall, bald security guard who had to stop the fighting that resulted from all had the extreme passion and anger. As with any quality television show, we later watch these background personalities begin to venture down their own paths, as I am sure they intended to do. We saw "Dr." Phil McGraw first appear on "Oprah" as a special guest for the more serious topics, and then Oprah got him his own show and a big fat ego to go along with it. Now we have Steve Wilkos - and with that "The Steve Wilkos Show" which began airing in September 2007. Now, I have only watched bits of two episodes, and only by accident when I stupidly decided to go explore the one-digit channels during the mid-afternoon. In one episode, he brings on a guy who is abusive toward his wife, and Wilkos just yells in his face for the entirety of the show, and in another episode some guy had done something and it was wrong so Wilkos got in his face too. I was so shocked by the fact that anyone can get their own television program these days, which requires little effort to have a storyline, intrigue or maybe just any form of a climatic moment. Now, the man is scary, I must admit - and with his previous job experience he is fully qualified. I just don't think this qualification goes far enough to justify a television show. Wikipedia tells me he's a cop and a former marine. So what? Please, no more.

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Nothing but pure love for the guidos...

Speaking of Jersey, there is a hilarious YouTube video that was posted a while ago - a while meaning they are making a profit off of T-shirts by now - that shamelessly pokes fun at guidos, in a humorous way. The definition of a guido, according to Wikipedia of course, is someone "portrayed as humorously and incorrigibly uncultured, with a thuggish and overtly macho attitude and an unyielding pride in his Italian ancestry." Urban Dictionary breaks down the wardrobe like so: "tight zipper shirts, tracksuits, designer jeans, fuzzy kangol hats, tiny hoop earrings, fake gold chains and related Euro-trash garb and tacky cheese-wear." "My New Haircut," the aforementioned YouTube video which elicits a little laughter, pokes fun at the stereotypical guido, who grunts at the gym, wants to fight everybody, has spiky hair, a shaved chest, a bad tan and who drinks Heineken and Jäger bombs all night: "Jäger bombs. Fuckin' Jäger bombs. Jäger bombs." Basically, it's a stereotype. And what do us humans like to do more than to point a spotlight on a stereotype to show how ridiculous it is? The video was so highly regarded that other Internet surfers are posting their videos with the same idea but making fun at other ridiculous stereotypes. Light-hearted comedy at its best: Check it out!

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OMG NJ bans texting

New Jersey, along with four other states, is now banning the use of cell phones while driving - excluding, however, the use of hands-free devices. The police in the state have the power to pull people over solely based on their cell-phone usage and slap them with a $100 fine, too. These are the real issues, people - texting while driving, calling your mom to tell her you're not coming home for spring break - this is what is killing people … yeah, right. If I were an insurance company, I would actually condone, if not encourage, the use of cell phones while operating a vehicle - or at least the venture capitalist insurance company in me would. Talking on cellphones, in my experience of driving, makes us drive slower, not faster. So these insurance companies are getting their crashes with a possible rate increase without the deaths - keeping it morally correct. The fatal crashes, I can only imagine, are usually at high speeds and I highly doubt they involve someone on the phone with their grandma or texting their BFF to tell him that they LOLed.