Five of arts desk’s taste aficionados tried out Durex’s assorted flavor condoms, in strawberry, banana and orange.
Tasted and approved by Tits McGee
Strawberry
Rating: 3.5
Just the thing if you’re up for a little Strawberry Shortcake role-playing.
Banana
Rating: 4
A tasty tropical flavor for a night of Jungle Love.
Orange
Rating: 1
Orange you glad I’m warning you to stay far away from this flavor?
Tasted and approved by Craven Moorebush
Strawberry
Rating: 3
The overpowering aroma that’s emitted the instant you open the package will make your junk smell like a scented candle from Hallmark, though it will taste little different than a Mother’s Day balloon from the same store.
Banana
Rating: 2
Hardly any flavor to speak of, though the smell of fresh bananas is certainly more appealing than the smell of fresh spunk.
Orange
Rating: 4
A flavor both subtle and pleasant – finally! A way to make my dick look and taste like an Otter Pop!
Tasted and approved by Sharon Dix
Strawberry
Rating: 3
Unless you have a serious sweet tooth, keep strawberries with the champagne in long-stemmed glasses, not on his long-stemmed stiffy.
Banana
Rating: 4.5
With this light-tasting condom, his member will enjoyably resemble a banana-flavored runt … hopefully only in taste, not in size.
Orange
Rating: 1
The taste of the latex comes right through with the orange flavor, and trust me when I say that these are two flavors you don’t want in your mouth at the same time.
Tasted and approved by Sugar Lipz
Strawberry
Rating: 3
This is somewhere between candy, cough drops and something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. While not too bad this was my least favorite flavor, but it smelled the best.
Reminiscent of childhood candies, these condoms were an interesting treat to test out.
Banana
Rating: 4
This was the most reminiscent of an actual fruit, and the lube and fake sugar flavor are an interesting mix. While not the most palatable things I’ve ever tasted, honestly, they aren’t bad. A little monkey in the jungle role-play anyone?
Orange
Rating: 3
Almost exactly like an orange sucker … except for the lube – it’s almost like a Vaseline-based chapstick, except, you know it’s personal lubricant.
Tasted and approved by Dedrek McSweetie
Strawberry
Rating: 1
Smells like some sort of berry-flavored cough syrup and tastes like it, too. Stay away from it!
Banana
Rating: 3
Smells like banana Laffy Taffy, but tastes nothing like it – it tastes like lube with a hint of artificial banana flavoring.
Orange
Rating: 2
Smells like orange soda and tastes like citrus-flavored latex with oil.