What are you doing for the summer?

Working at a restaurant in Long Beach.

Are you super bummed to be living with your parents again?

Well, I’m excited … to have my laundry done. And to use my kitchen.

OK, as far as living with your parents again, what are you most depressed about?

Having rules again.

Yeah, that blows. Do you have siblings?

An older sister.

That sucks. The key to moving home is to have younger siblings. They’re like built-in DDs.

Yeah, I used to be my sister’s. She would call me up really late to come

get her.

That’s what I do, and I keep calling until my little brother wakes up. So you’re going to be working as a waitress this summer, do guys ever leave you their number on the receipts?

Yeah, I never call them.

Like cute guys or like old pervs?

Both.

That’s gross, but at least you make money from them. OK, Long Beach-waitress job aside, would you rather spend the summer with the cast of “”Jersey Shore”” or with Heidi Montag and her creepy new face in LA?

Ew, no. “”Jersey Shore.””

Even with that awful duck phone? That entire house was wood-paneled like a dirty ’70s shag pad. Would you hook up with any of the guys in the house?

Well, the Situation is just gross.

I know, he looks like he’s 45 from the neck up. I’d hook up with DJ Pauly D, because he’s always smiling.

— Claire Engelken