Editor’s note: Super Cool News is a Daily Wildcat feature that shares the, yes, coolest news happening around town and around the country. Try not to take what its writers have to say too literally.
Well, Wildcats, we’ve already made it through an entire month of the semester. Classes will soon become more intense, tests and papers will begin to pile up and the memory of summer vacation will remain a distant glimmer of the past.
It’s also about that time we start to see our roommates, a once amiable relationship, as a threat to our well-being.
While roommates serve as an initial friendship in college, nobody really wants them, yet it gets branded into our minds from an early age that they represent an important part of the college experience.
Right, because why would you not want to live with a complete stranger and be forced to share your habits of living with them?
It may be true that not all roommates are complete strangers. In fact, some roommates have known each other for their entire lives. Unfortunately, nothing ruins a lifelong friendship faster than a college roommateship.
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When you first met your roommate, you probably put on the fake roommate face as you politely introduced yourself and then proceeded to ask trivial questions such as “How are you?,” “How was your trip out here?,” “What’s your major?” and all of the other filler garbage we use to keep from hating one another.
These civil interactions and polite moments from the beginning of the semester have probably ended and been replaced by moments of walking into your dorm, staring angrily at your roommate for several seconds and then proceeding to sit down and put your headphones in before either of you has a chance to actually speak.
It’s bad enough you have to live with these people. You can’t expect to actually converse with them.
The best course of action to take with your roommate is to set clear guidelines and boundaries at the beginning of the semester. This will help you get to know your roommate better and therefore allow you to get a better sense of what it will feel like to live with them.
When that fails, and it most definitely will, you should try to get them kicked out. Some well-placed drugs or alcohol that were “accidentally left out” when your resident assistant comes by is a good place to start, but don’t be afraid to get creative.
“My roommate last year moved out within like a week of moving in,” said one UA student. “I just never told anyone. I was afraid that if I did, they would force me to get another roommate. There’s no way that was happening.”
The student wished to remain anonymous, fearing that if it became known he went all of last year without a roommate, the UA Residence Hall Association would force him to have one this year, despite the fact that he now lives by himself in an off-campus apartment.
If getting the roommate kicked out proves too trying a task, you should simply endure it while minimizing all forms of communication.
Memorize your roommate’s class schedule to make sure you never have to spend time together in the room. Make sure to join several extra-curriculars as an additional way to spend time outside the room.
Less time in the room equals less time with personal enemy No. 1.
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“I have a job on campus, I’m in a sorority and I’m the president of a club,” said nutritional sciences junior Mckenzie Dryden. “I usually tell people that I do these things to make friends, improve my resume and make a difference in the community, but the real reason I get involved is to avoid my roommates.”
You can’t argue with that logic. College students simply should not coexist in such a small space together.
Everyone with a roommate needs to figure something out soon because as the clock continues to tick, you-know-who continues to eat your food without your permission.
Follow Alec Kuenhle on Twitter.
