I see you’re in a sorority, what’s the best theme party you’ve been to this year?

Would Swamp Water count as a theme party?

That sounds disgusting. Explain it to me.

It’s Pi Kap’s big party. The Ying Yang Twins came. They, like, decorate the house as a swamp.

Of all things, why would they make the theme swamp water? It just sounds like it would smell.

I know, it sounds disgusting. But it was really fun. I guess it sort of smelled like a swamp, because they were so many people, and just like, b.o.

That’s charming. How did a bunch of white guys from Arizona get the Ying Yang Twins to perform?

They paid them. And they were really messed up.

The Ying Yang Twins were day-drunk at a frat party?

Yeah. It was fun.

I think frats sound way more fun.

Yeah, but the rumors I’ve heard about their rush process … I just couldn’t hang.

OK, we’re playing a game. We’re all rushing a frat. What’s worse: forced drinking to the point of hospitalization or intense public humiliation?

What kind of public humiliation are we talking about?

Naked. On-campus naked, like see-someone-you-know while naked. On the UA Mall. And not running, you’d have to stand still.

Probably public humiliation. If you get your stomach pumped, you have to get an MIP.

Good thinking. It’s interesting that you’d rather be naked though.

Well, I’d probably just say no, either way.

You can’t. Your new frat brothers would never accept you. You just can’t say no.

Good point.

OK, back to being frat pledges. Would you rather be paddled like in “”Animal House”” or be naked on the Mall?

Probably the Mall.

You love being naked, which bodes well for you and your frat future.

— Claire Engelken