Sometimes it’s your mother. Other times, it’s that teacher you sucked up to for an A last semester. Late Friday night, it might just be a drunk hobo on Fourth Avenue. Are you thinking of a mentor? Good. Now think about comedians.

You watch them, you love them and you laugh at them. Funny? Yes. Normal? No. People you want advice from? Bring it on.

“”You’re a Horrible Person, But I Like You,”” is a compendium of advice on assorted subjects given by writers, producers and actors from a variety of comedic television shows and movies. Like any good self-help guide, the book is written in a fairly simple question-and-answer format. Flipping through the pages you’ll stumble upon the best bad advice you’ll ever hear.

Ladies! You think that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach? Wrong. According to Amy Sedaris, all you need is to saw through the chest cavity — it’s basically a straight shot. And for you gentlemen wondering what the difference is between stalking and being romantically attentive, Janeane Garofalo suggests that it all depends on how attractive you are.

The book quotes many well-known celebrities. Rainn Wilson will coach you through capturing a ghoul, while Ed Helms suggests the best way to figure out with which fork to start your meal with. Solution: Stab yourself in the eye and you’ll be free from “”the tyranny of fork-size equivocation.”” Throw in some Fred Armisen, Michael Cera and other writers from “”The Office,”” “”Saturday Night Live”” and “”The Hangover”” and you’ve got yourself a pretty pity party.

It probably would be funnier to watch their facial expressions as the comedians answer the queries, but their distinct voices still seep through the pages. Some of the advice really is hilarious, from the obscenely grotesque (think anal fissures) to actually amusing guidance (tie-dyed T-shirts as a gateway fashion to Teva sandals and Guatemalan print shorts).

However, there are some drawbacks. It’s not a book you just pick up and read straight through. At 209 pages, there’s no plot to propel you forward. In fact, it’s almost too long for a comedic book and lacks the visual appeal of other books such as “”Texts From Last Night”” or “”I Can Has Cheezburger?”” But the worst is that some comedians’ answers aren’t even worth an internal LOL.

For example, do you know who’s spectacularly unfunny? Judd Apatow. You can almost hear him stuttering to answer the question, constantly asking if the questions are prank jokes. Yes, Judd, I’m sure a lot of them are. The point is to come up with an answer that’s witty and hilarious. No gold star for you.

So would you really want to ask honest advice from these folks? Definitely not. But it’s sure fun to laugh at these poor sods as they fly off or indulge in violent rants. Quirky and droll, “”You’re a Horrible Person, But I Like You,”” may be one of the best mentors you’ve ever had.