The University of Arizona Police Department has not updated its record books. So, here are some of our best Police Beat entries of the semester so far:

Sorry, wrong bed (March 7)

A resident assistant from the Manzanita-Mohave Residence Hall reported that a naked man walked into a resident’s dorm room around 2:33 a.m. on Monday. When University of Arizona Police Department officers arrived, they spoke with the resident, who said she was sleeping when a naked man suddenly entered her room and tried to climb into bed with her.

The student said she screamed when she noticed him and told him he had probably walked into the wrong room. He asked her, “Are you sure this is the wrong room?” She replied, “Yes!” He turned around and began walking out of the room. Another female student then walked in, grabbed the man and brought him into another room.

The woman told officers that she saw “his buttocks and flaccid penis with lots of pubic hair,” and that she wanted to press criminal charges.

Officers spoke with the naked man, who told them, “I was very intoxicated and I was spending the night with another girl. I woke up to go to the restroom and when I was done, I accidentally walked into the room. It was an honest mistake.”

Officers noticed that the naked man and the other woman laughed whenever the woman who wanted to press charges began to speak. Officers told the man to get completely dressed and step outside so he could be arrested. He was cited for indecent exposure and taken to Pima County Jail.

An unpleasant lunch (March 27)

A female student called UAPD because her boyfriend, another student, was screaming inside of her car and punching the dashboard at 1:50 p.m. on Thursday. Officers arrived at the scene on Helen Street and Warren Avenue and began speaking to the woman, who was crying hysterically. The officers asked where her boyfriend was, and she said that he ran away.

She told officers that they were eating at Olive Garden when they started getting in a verbal argument. The argument was over who was paying for lunch, because neither had exact change. She eventually paid for lunch, which she said, “Just made him more upset, and on our way home, he was punching my passenger dashboard.” She said he then started to push the shifter into park and tried to turn off the ignition, which made her keys break and fall onto the floor.

She said that when she began calling the police, her boyfriend ripped the phone out of her hand and jumped out of the car, dropping her phone. She said he then stood in front of the car so she could not drive away.

Officers found her boyfriend and arrested him. They asked him to tell them what happened, and he told them the same thing that his girlfriend had. He told officers, “I am sorry for my actions and I should have not acted that way.”

The woman said she did not wish to press charges or for him to go to jail — she just wanted him to go to counseling for a few months.

Her boyfriend was arrested and booked at Pima County Jail for disorderly conduct and domestic violence.