Last week, I spent $91 on groceries. In one trip. I know. Ninety-one dollars! (You probably couldn’t hear it, but I just let out a big sigh.) It got me to thinking: Sure I have to eat, but where would that money have been better spent?

Without question, the first place to check is eBay, and without fail, the first thing that would catch my eye (following a simple “”Arizona Wildcats”” search, of course) is the April 7, 1997 issue of Sports Illustrated, the cover of which current assistant coach and former Final Four MOP Miles Simon graces. “”Buy it now”” for $5.99.

From jerseys to shorts to flags – and even to skull caps – nothing else would particularly catch my attention, so I would move on.

Next up? The www.Arizonaathletics.com team store. While the generic block letter “”Arizona Basketball”” T-shirt probably wouldn’t even come close to being worth a cent of my former grocery store money, the “”Arizona Autograph Basketball”” would hold my attention for a few moments – that is, until I realized it comes autograph-less. Kinda misleading…

So I would move to the hats section (I’m a sucker for hats, it’s like girls and shoes … and clothes … and purses) and would settle on a hat with that big pretty “”A”” crisp in the center. $22.50? No sweat. I’d still have $62.50 left of the 90-plus bucks I should’ve spent somewhere else instead of blowing it all on food.

As I’d make the transition into the UofA Bookstore, nothing could contend with the “”Bear Down!”” CD. It’d be the best $10 I spent so far. It would also be across the way from U-Mart. Just kidding. I’d never waste my money on food again.

If I was writing this 20 years ago, I could make a quick stop by Union Cuts next and get “”U of A”” shaved into my head. But dammit, I’m not, so I can’t, and instead would make the 90-mile trip north to ASU where I’d buy some stupid “”I (heart) ASU”” binder, on which I’d probably cross out the heart. (Get it? “”I don’t heart ASU.”” Yeah, it was worth a shot.) Then I’d throw it out and drive back. Total spent: $25 (gas, round trip) and the $3.50 from the binder. So I’d be down to $22.50.

Upon my return, I’d make a trip to the mall, where I had heard about a pretty neat deal: There was a secret 70-percent-off rack in a certain store that was selling ‘Staf jerseys for $14.99. Now that’s a sweet deal.

I’d probably then check eBay one more time to see if anything cool was on there within the short time since I’d checked it last, whereupon I’d stumble upon an old “”UA”” patch, currently bidding at $3. Perfect.

And the remaining $6 that I should’ve spent on sports instead of wasting it on groceries? Men’s basketball. It’d almost be too perfect. Though I have season tickets, why not get to the ASU game three hours before tip and wait with the core of the Wildcat faithful, then spend $6 to buy an unused ticket that some student “”fan”” bought but never picked up to help pack McKale Center?

Which brings me to my final point: Though I’m stuck with my outrageous $91 bill (I like how they don’t tell you how much you’ve spent until everything’s bagged and ready to go – it’s like there’s no way out), I do like that last idea.

So, as it seems that I won’t be using my ticket this weekend, would anyone want it? I’m serious. Send me an e-mail at whyishouldwin@hotmail.com – I’ll give my ticket for this Saturday’s game against ASU to the fan with the most creative response as to why he or she should get it.

There are too many diehards out there who deserve to be going to the games – over some of the students who won season tickets – who aren’t able to line up for a variety of reasons, be it late classes or work.

Here’s one ticket that will be used this weekend that otherwise would still be sitting in my drawer. Now if only other students will follow suit. If you’re not going to the game, make sure someone else does.

(And while you’re at it, keep both eyes on the screen totaling your money spent at your next trip to the grocery store. … I sure wish I did.)