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The Daily Wildcat

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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat

 

    The Flicksgiving Cornucopia

    Here’s a vocab question: You have two movies, “”Faster”” and “”Unstoppable.”” Which is about a runaway train, and which is about The Rock killing people? If you don’t know the answer by the time you’re standing in the ticket line, it probably doesn’t matter.

    This year’s Thanksgiving feast of flicks has something for everyone, even if you can’t discern the cobbler from the casserole. Try a serving of action porn — a pâté of ticking clocks and celebrity grimaces. Stop by the kids’ table for some colorful, sugarcoated dessert that tastes suspiciously like last year’s recipe. If you’re up for something spicier, crash The Loft Cinema’s dinner and try an authentic Swedish import. The choice is yours. Grab the family, find a comfy seat and let that tryptophan take its course.

    For dads and dudes:

    Faster (R) — Dwayne Johnson, the wrestler formerly known as The Rock, reminds the world that he is still not to be flexed with. Out to avenge his double-crossed brother for a heist gone wrong, Dwayne makes his own justice with hypodermic needles, exploding muscle cars and some good old Dirty Harry magnum play. Billy Bob Thornton as an unnamed “”cop”” shrugs from afar.

    Unstoppable (PG-13) — In dark times, our nation often turns to Denzel Washington. In “”Unstoppable”” (aka “”Freight-Training Day””), Washington and his protégé Chris Pine must stop an unmanned train hauling eight cars of deadly chemicals from colliding with 150 elementary school students. Best field trip ever.

    The Next Three Days (PG-13) — Russell Crowe: ass-kicker. Liam Neeson: veteran ass-kicker. Elizabeth Banks: nice ass. Watch the asses clash when Crowe only has three days to break his wrongfully-accused wife out of prison. Paul Haggis, writer of “”Crash”” and the new Bond flicks, directs the chaos.

    For ladies and lovers:

    Burlesque (PG-13) — We all know Christina Aguilera can sing, but can she attract leering male audiences by prancing about stage in skimpy outfits? Can Cher hunker in the wings and watch the dying flame of her talent snuffed by the young and sexy? Art imitates life this weekend in “”Burlesque.””

    Love and Other Drugs (R) — The cutthroat world of pharmaceutical erection pills spares not love. Jake Gyllenhaal, chauvinistic Viagra peddler, falls for Anne Hathaway, independent woman. Join the emotional journey of pretty people learning, loving and getting naked.

    For all audiences:

    Tangled (PG) — Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your brightly-colored childhood references! Disney’s computer-generated take on yet another fairy tale promises plenty of old-school conventions: dashing rogues with ego problems, fashion-savvy princesses with celebrity voices (Mandy Moore) and anthropomorphic horses who know way more than they should. Do not expect another hodgepodge “”Shrek”” rip-off. The “”Tangled”” mythology looks pretty straightforward.

    Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (PG-13) — Wait, “”Harry Potter”” was based on a book? That must have been long.

    Megamind (PG) — Like “”Despicable Me,”” “”Megamind”” takes the villain’s perspective on social chaos and pads it with 3-D gambits and a voice cast of Hollywood’s trendiest. Will Ferrell voices an alienated alien do-badder who must step in for justice when Metro Man (Brad Pitt) is disgraced by the new flying kid in town (Jonah Hill). Tina Fey, David Cross, Ben Stiller and J.K. Simmons round out the cast, in case you weren’t convinced to leave the TV.

    For all adult audiences:

    The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets’ Nest (R) — Lisbeth Salander (Noomi Rapace) is just a regular hacker, trying to have a good time. But if you tread on her, she’s not above setting you on fire or nailing your feet to the ground. Who will Lisbeth maim in the concluding chapter of Stieg Larsson’s Millennium trilogy? Find out now at The Loft, before the upcoming American remake plays with fire.

    Due Date (R) — Ingredients for a buddy road trip movie: one easily stressed jerk on a mission. Check. One weirdo with deadly curiosity and questionable hygiene. Check. One dog in a neck cone. Tic-tac-toe! Robert Downey Jr. and Zach Galifianakis cross the country to witness a birth in L.A., and you’re invited to be just as stressed and annoyed as they are. Todd Philips of “”The Hangover”” directs. Expletives provided with ticket.

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