A study in The Journal of Social Psychology has shown that gender equality in countries correlates with more sex. That’s red hot for feminism but lukewarm for young women. Does having more sex really mean women are equal to men?
Around 50 years ago, a ticket to a woman’s bedroom would have been quite a present. It wasn’t expected. If you graduated from high school with your virginity intact, you weren’t a prude, you were a lady.
Now, the value of the vagina is falling faster than the Dow. Talk about a great recession.
Having sex doesn’t have to be a dirty little secret anymore, but it also doesn’t have to be tossed around like last week’s gossip.
For all that men and women are equal and fighting for equality, people seem to be trying to blot out the fact that they are indeed different.
Women are more emotional. Throwing up a brave front and pretending that you’re as detached as men about sex is a lie and a dumb one. The decision to get into bed is more than a want, more than a primal lust and more emotional. I’m not discounting men’s emotions, just pointing out that women worry a whole lot more about them before, during and after sex.
Keeping with the stock market analogy, the more there is of something, the less it’s worth.
At the UA, there is about a 1:1 ratio for men to women, with slightly more women than men. That means the likelihood of snagging a partner is increased, and somehow sex became an expectation. I don’t know when that shift happened.
When did just meeting someone, conversing and deciding to meet them again become cliche and old school?
Sex on the third date was a pretty common theme I heard in high school. Then coming to college it was about who could score a girl that night, how many in a month, how many in a semester.
This obsession with numbers became such a large part of conversations for both men and women. The rarer a thing is, the more value it has. I’m not saying we should all sprinkle holy water and proclaim newfound virginity, but maybe next time pause before you get into a cab with a guy and kiss him good night, meet again sober and actually experience the awesomeness that is having sex with someone you can look in the eye and snuggle with. Even if it’s only once.
In one study, researchers found that on campuses where women outnumber men, women are more negative about campus men, hold more negative views of their relationships, go on fewer dates, are less likely to have a boyfriend and receive less commitment in exchange for sex. Roy F. Baumeister of Florida State University and Kathleen D. Vohs from the University of British Columbia conducted the study.
It’s basic supply and demand; women are the supply and men are the ones demanding. It’s easy to blame men for their sexual reputation as greedy bastards but let’s not forget that women still hold the supply.
There’s too much of this “everyone’s doing it and if I don’t, then he won’t like me” attitude. You can’t complain about never having a boyfriend or going on fewer dates if you get in that cab after a few hours in a bar with a stranger. You bring it on yourself.
Stop being the girl walking through campus in last night’s party dress and heels slung over her shoulder. If you like having casual sex (even if I think you’re lying to yourself), that’s fine. But please don’t let me hear you complain about how there are no nice guys on campus.
It’s all about expectations. We lowered them from when we were kids. Once we were waiting for Prince Charming to whisk us away. Today he’s really hot, so that’s good enough. There’s no reason you can’t reverse that thinking. I’d bet a lot of men on campus could surprise you if you waited to see what a night with you is worth to them. (Hint: it’s probably more than three drinks and a one-way cab ride.)
_— Michelle Monroe is a journalism senior. She can be reached at
letters@wildcat.arizona.edu._
