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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat

 

    Shake it like a Polaroid

    Shane Baconstaff writer
    Shane Bacon
    staff writer

    A SLICE OF BACON

    After watching the dreadful conclusion of the dueling Wildcats’ game, with Villanova strumming the last string of the banjo on Arizona’s season, I couldn’t help but notice the handshake between coaches.

    This activity occurs in every college basketball game in every city on every hardwood court in America, but for some reason this one stuck with me.

    How awkward must those handshakes be?

    One coach just punched his ticket to the Sweet Sixteen, while the other will spend a long flight home to seven months of recruiting and wondering.

    So with that, I decided to explain what must have been said between Arizona men’s basketball head coach Lute Olson and some of his sweaty-palm receivers.

    Lute and Villanova’s Jay Wright:

    Lute: Did you take recruiting tips from Nick Nolte?

    Wright: Enjoy the flight. I heard Tucson is beautiful this time of year.

    Lute and North Carolina’s Roy

    Williams:

    Lute: You beat us with a goofy white freshman?

    Williams: (with a curling grin) It isn’t hard when your opponent knocks down less shots than a Mormon on spring break.

    Lute and Hall of Fame, former UCLA coach John Wooden:

    Lute: You wish you looked like I do at 71.-

    Wooden: Yeah, but have you seen my bling?

    Lute and UCLA’s Ben Howland:

    Lute: He might have been Pac-10 Player of the Year, but I bet you still can’t pronounce Luc Richard Mbah a Moute’s name.

    Howland: Bomahoute? (smiles) As long as he keeps getting boards, who cares?

    Lute and West Virginia’s John Beilein:

    Lute: Pittsnogle? Seriously?

    Beilein: Radenovic? Keep ’em coming.

    Lute and ex-ASU head coach Rob Evans:

    Lute: Enjoy the curb.

    Evans: I needed Diogu to stay for one more year.

    Lute and recently-retired Washington State head coach Dick Bennett:

    Lute: (hugs Dick) I’m not going to lie, I actually dozed off during the second half.

    Bennett: (laughs) Can you believe these people keep buying this slow offense crap for so long?

    Lute and Washington’s Lorenzo Romar:

    Lute: How big is Brandon Roy’s back brace?

    Romar: Slightly smaller than Marcus Williams’.

    Lute and Tennessee’s Bruce Pearl:

    Lute: Two words: Right Guard.

    Pearl: (wipes sweat off brow) I know, I know.

    Lute and Illinois’ Bruce Weber

    Lute: Way to play down the stretch.

    Weber: (bites lip) You too played real tough today. (starts laughing hysterically, slapping knee) Oh man, oh man, I’m sorry, I’m sorry Lute. Hahahahaha, I couldn’t help it, I’m really sorry. What … (laughs) … what … (laughs) … what the hell happened?

    Lute and Michigan State’s Tom Izzo:

    Lute: Does Mateen Cleaves get your firstborn?

    Izzo: Yeah, if Mike Bibby gets your paycheck.

    Lute and Duke’s Mike Krzyzewski:

    Lute: Can you believe the success of your TWG?

    Krzyzewski: Yeah, yours coming in is Chase, right?

    Lute and Syracuse’s Jim Boeheim:

    Lute: I loved the F-bomb during the interview.

    Boeheim: The best part? I don’t even think McNamara’s that good. (both laugh hysterically)

    Lute and Kentucky’s Tubby Smith:

    Lute: He only goes left, but I hope you enjoy him.

    Smith: Hopefully he’ll be half the player his cousin was.

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