We saw international studies senior Nick Borst walking near Manzanita-Mohave Residence Hall, 1000 N. Park Ave.

Wildcat: Hi, you’re on the spot. So have you heard about the controversy in the last couple of days with someone in Clinton’s campaign sending a picture to the Drudge Report of Obama in traditional African garb?

Borst: Yeah.

W: How do you feel about that?

B: Originally the Clinton staffer said that they were posting it in complaint. The original tagline said, “”If this was Hillary, it would be all over the newspapers.”” The bad thing is it feeds into this whole bag that people have been putting out that he’s a Muslim. Even if that’s the way they felt, it’s pretty stupid of them not to recognize that’s how it would be attributed.

W: Since race is such a big issue, would you vote for Obama if he were Asian?

B: Yeah.

W: Would you vote for him if he were white?

B: Yeah, of course. It doesn’t matter to me.

W: Would you vote for him if he had a slight lisp sometimes?

B: Yeah, although I will say it would be very nice to have a president that was good at giving speeches after eight years.

W: Would you vote for him if he had an orphan in Morocco?

B: Yeah, of course.

W: Would you vote for him if he was a size 12 in woman’s jeans?

B: Yeah. Seeing how the president doesn’t have to lead the troops into battle anymore, I don’t think it matters physically.

W: Would you vote for him if he had a cousin who ran an art dealership in Salt Lake City that was mildly successful?

B: No, that’s a deal breaker for me.

W: Would you vote for him if he laughed like a donkey in between his self-referential jokes?

B: Well, that would definitely bring him down a notch.

W: Would you vote for him if he was a dolphin?

B: Are dolphins allowed to run for office?

W: I think they are in some states.

B: OK, I’m personally a porpoise guy.

W: Would you vote for him if he was a fixture on a wall?

B: Would he look like himself or would he be something different?

W: He would look like a tree, basically.

B: What kind of tree?

W: Oak tree.

B: Oak’s good. It’s a good presidential tree.

W: Would you vote for him if he liked to watch after school specials on the couch and giggle to himself while he clutched the pillow?

W: No, definitely not.

B: Would you vote for him if he was actually McCain in a costume?

W: I value creativity.

– interview by Andi Berlin